Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Visionary Guardiandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: slntfirflm
    ASL Info:    26/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 301/331/93
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       Not so much betrayal except of what I think my guardian angel would tell me... Yet, I think my flame is coming back... its not done... its only junk right now... lemme know what you think. okay?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Visionary Guardiandots
    -------------------------------------------


    A picture of your fading guardian angel
    has appeared on your paint slattered wall.
    Giving up hope on you isn't quite easy,
    but I promise it won't be much longer until,
    I,
    your guard through life will be gone.
    I'm only an outline at the moment.
    Don't you know you can turn to me with your problems?
    Why did you think I was here?

    My vision of you was quite wrong,
    the single spark within you is now gone.
    You can't expect me to stand through
    watch your embers fade away.
    Its what your doing to me...




    Submitted on 2006-09-19 19:33:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,

    It's been a while since i read anything from you.
    I really liked your title. It has its own unique version to it that no one can take away from you.

    I wonder sometimes about my guardian angel. Who it really is. If it's someone spiritual or is it someone who is right beside me to make sure i got someone to cry and to laugh with. Sometimes, i even think they are the same person. These days anything is possible. I also think sometimes that my guardian angel will give me advice or guide me towards the right direction and sometimes, i end up in the wrong direction and blame something that really should had been blamed on me. Anyhow, i'm just talking here.

    In terms of your poem, I think you have the basic ideas drawn out. All you have to do now is find a layout you feel comfortable in and write it in such a way as though you were really talking and asking questions about all that's been bothering you. Maybe even come up to a conclusion at the end.

    I feel if you write this right instead of making a draft, this piece will come out fabulous. Just put your mind to it and it will come out great.
    Hope to see you soon again.
    Take care....

    ~Irina
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    118732

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry