A Visionary Guardian by slntfirflm

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Submission Name: A Visionary Guardian dots

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Author:	slntfirflm
ASL Info:	16/f
Elite Ratio:	5.77 - 296/327/90
Words:	103

Class/Type:	Poetry/Betrayal
Total Views:	204
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	633

Description:
Not so much betrayal except of what I think my guardian angel would tell me... Yet, I think my flame is coming back... its not done... its only junk right now... lemme know what you think. okay?

A Visionary Guardian dots

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A picture of your fading guardian angel
has appeared on your paint slattered wall.
Giving up hope on you isn't quite easy,
but I promise it won't be much longer until,
I,
your guard through life will be gone.
I'm only an outline at the moment.
Don't you know you can turn to me with your problems?
Why did you think I was here?

My vision of you was quite wrong,
the single spark within you is now gone.
You can't expect me to stand through
watch your embers fade away.
Its what your doing to me...

Submitted on 2006-09-19 19:33:48 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Hey,

It's been a while since i read anything from you.
I really liked your title. It has its own unique version to it that no one can take away from you.

I wonder sometimes about my guardian angel. Who it really is. If it's someone spiritual or is it someone who is right beside me to make sure i got someone to cry and to laugh with. Sometimes, i even think they are the same person. These days anything is possible. I also think sometimes that my guardian angel will give me advice or guide me towards the right direction and sometimes, i end up in the wrong direction and blame something that really should had been blamed on me. Anyhow, i'm just talking here.

In terms of your poem, I think you have the basic ideas drawn out. All you have to do now is find a layout you feel comfortable in and write it in such a way as though you were really talking and asking questions about all that's been bothering you. Maybe even come up to a conclusion at the end.

I feel if you write this right instead of making a draft, this piece will come out fabulous. Just put your mind to it and it will come out great.
Hope to see you soon again.
Take care....

~Irina
| Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]

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