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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I've Trieddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: juss_kriss
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 404/445/126
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Lyrics/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1021
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1138



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI've Trieddots
    -------------------------------------------


    verse 1:
    i've tried to climb out of
    this hole i've seemed to dig myself
    the ground falls from beneath my feet
    and everytime i touch the walls
    they crumble at my fingertips

    pre-chorus:
    i've tried
    to fix this life
    i've tried
    but nothing is right

    chorus:
    i've cried
    but no one seems to notice
    and i've
    screamed till my throat bled
    i've tried
    but it was all for nothing

    verse 2:
    i've ried to make it on
    whatever i have that's left inside
    but it isn't much look at me
    i, i keep falling apart
    i keep losing my train of thought

    verse 3:
    i've tried to run away
    from ones who seem to tear me apart
    they threw their chains around my wrists
    and pulled me down to my knees
    before pointing that gun at me

    coda:
    i've tried
    but i can't make it
    i've tried
    but it's not right
    i can't fight




    Submitted on 2006-09-19 20:13:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      HI
    Once again you show your songwriting skills with another strong write of lyrics
    This one I really like
    I think the strongest part of this song is the line

    they threw their chains around my wrists
    and pulled me down to my knees

    That is some very clever wording as it fits perfectly with the rest of the write and creates and urgency

    Excellent Job
    God Bless
    Ron

    Iif you get a chance I recently put up some new writes
    Can you Please check them out and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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