[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: given updots

    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Misc/Dark
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1040

       not really a poem just me going on and on

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgiven updots

    hit the pillow never return
    dissapear,over and done

    is it ok if im a life drop out?
    if I give up,give in,quit the fight?

    sounds so dumb and so weak
    I am weak,I am dumb

    just dont wanna wake up every morning
    just wanna sleep
    forever at peace

    no more pain
    no more hurt
    no more confussion
    or stress

    sleep in a world of blank
    a world of nothing
    the world of done

    no one would notice no one would care
    no,they would care,theyd be happy
    I would be gone
    the faliure,the burden
    no longer here

    I dont no
    dont really care
    the only thing that stops me is I dont no what would be waiting on the other side
    in the world of death

    so again goes to show
    I am weak
    I am afraid
    want to be sheltered from the world

    but would that be enough
    no id hve to be sheltered from myself

    Submitted on 2006-09-20 07:35:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ive been like this. this piece is more like you ranting in a poetic way. very common. but also not too shabby. turned out pretty good. and btw, ppl would miss you. you just dont realize it.

    im gonna stop here for now, ill continue either later or tomorrow. so far im impressed by your early work.
    | Posted on 2010-09-17 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the feelings interpreted but it was kind of vague. Say what you mean.
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Logic | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. It's pretty good. I've felt that way many times. It's really weird how i can see my feelings put up in a poem as someone else's work. Isn't it?
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Dead_inside | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The World written by jjd
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]