Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love/Wardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hammyj
    ASL Info:    21/m/Notts UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 130/81/21
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       Again don't know why or what but hope you enjoy!!

    Stems from just thinking that maybe alls not the same with love and war

    Why can love be warred but war cannot be loved!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove/Wardots
    -------------------------------------------


    All is fair in Love and War,
    You conquered me, you came, i saw
    A love so deep, i knew for sure
    Why did you have to change the score?

    Battles, fights we are at war
    I remember calling you a whore
    I hated it , it made me sore
    You were everything i lived for

    Feelings weep from every pore
    Feel so cold down to the core
    I never felt so low before
    All's not fair in Love and War!!




    Submitted on 2006-09-20 13:50:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Personaly I liked the whole damn thing... it moved me right off of my bed and into the living room...
    | Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by Cricket | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one full of feeling and is not a piont that most ppl can relait.
    | Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by Cokesu | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, I especially like the ending. Although, you had a good rhyming scheme going on there, but the beginning hardly follows it.

    "All is fair in Love and War,
    You conquered me, you came, i saw
    A love so deep, i knew for sure
    Why did you have to change the score?"

    Perhaps you could change "saw" to something that rhymes with war? It would make it sound a lot better.
    | Posted on 2006-11-04 00:00:00 | by Two Meters Away | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    118800

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry