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"To understand"


Author: Akai_Ame
Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 223 /181 /46
Words: 447
Class/Type: Misc /Serious
Total Views: 1563
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Bytes: 2683



Description:


donno, just bored.


"To understand"



There comes a point in time
When no longer do you understand
You feel so frightened,
Feel as if you’ve lost your mind.

You sit around and begin to wonder,
“How long till I fuck this up,
When will it all disappear again.”

Life is a very confusing thing.
You spend each day trying to do your best.
And yet at the end of each day, you feel like shit.
As if every thing you had done, was meaningless.

You begin to question,
“Why am I here?”
And it goes unanswered.
Until it gets to the point,
Where you no longer can wait.

Just when you think you are at your wit’s end,
And this life you can no longer stand,
You see a shadow in the distance.
You go to it.
You implore it, to answer the question you’ve long to know.

At first the shadow is quiet, as if in a ponderous state of mind.
Than it answers, and you believe everything in life will be easier.
You were wrong.

“To understand”

That was all the shadow muttered before vanishing into the wind.
To understand is a big request of human beings.
One should not be asked to understand why they were left alone,
Why life continues to be extinguished all around us,
Why no matter the effort shown, the heart is bound to be broken.
Whither it be by death, or by will.

Love is a questionable thing.
It makes us question everything around us.
Ponderous thoughts begin to feel like home.

Often has it been pondered, when a love is lost,
Where will I go?
What will I do?
I am nothing without that person, why live.

A person that leaves you by will,
Never loved you, just used you.
A person that leaves by death,
Never truly leaves and you will be with them again.

There is no real point to this.
Just to answer the life long question.
“Why am I here?”



“To understand pains of all kinds. No matter how big or little each pain is to each person just as painful as the next. How we deal with it defines who we are as a person. Some deal with it by long stories of pain written on their skin. Others cry rivers to drown themselves. And some show nothing at all. They keep it locked away in a bottle that they lay on top of the shattered pieces of their dreams. Each way defines you. The question left is how will you help someone redefine themselves when they have gone astray.”





Submitted on 2006-09-20 15:16:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  There comes a point in time
When no longer do you understand
You feel so frightened,
Feel as if you’ve lost your mind.

Is the second line right? I think it should be “When you do no longer understand”



You begin to question,
“Why am I here?”
And it goes unanswered.
Until it gets to the point,
Where you no longer can wait.

The last line should be “Where you can no longer wait.”


You go to it.
You implore it, to answer the question you’ve long[ed] to know.


“Why life continues to be extinguished all around us,”

After reading the line a couple of times, I have come to like it. I truly do hope it is intentional when you use an active word – the extinguished implies that it has been done to it, but the state/modus have been different.



“Ponderous thoughts begin to feel like home.

Often has it been pondered, when a love is lost,”

Consider using an other word instead of ponder again.

Where will I go?
What will I do?
I am nothing without that person, why live.

You should end the stanza with a ‘?’




Also I have looked at the lines below, and hope you can see the problem in you language. The form is not consistent you go from everyday spoken words ot a more traditionally poetic vocabulary. It would really improve the poem if you clean up the poem and decide on one or another form.
E.g.:
“And yet at the end of each day, you feel like [censored].
As if every thing you had done, was meaningless.”

“One should not be asked to understand why they were left alone,”
“Why life continues to be extinguished all around us,”


Overall I did like it. It is very enjoyable and the potential to be a really good write is there, you just need to work a bit harder on it.
| Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
  If this is how you write when you are bored, please be bored alot more! I enjoyed reading your poem and the philosophic outlook on love, life and thoughts of questions we cannot answer. I'm not sure I am in the frame of mind to try and understand your poem but it sank in, that's for sure. Why am I here? That must be the most asked question of any human being. Personally, I'm not sure why I am here, there are many times I wish I wasn't. I have children and they keep me going most of the time, but sometimes when I am down or just feeling philosophical, that same old question arises.. Why am I here. A powerful write, full of feeling. Mel.
| Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]


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