Friday, July the seventh, 2000
It started as a day like any other. I woke up, dragged myself out of bed, threw some sausage, egg, and cheese toaster strudel in the toaster and then off to work for 10 hours. I remember it being a very hot day, as I was working in residential construction at the time.
I got home around five, and was confused by what I found or rather Didn't find at home.
Things were missing, a lot of things. Pictures were gone off the wall, bath towels were gone, silverware was missing, lots of miscellaneous things, just gone!
My first thought, was "O Man, we just got robbed!"
So I started looking around at the things that were missing, my 25 inch TV was gone as were the quilts my grandma had given me before she died.
This was some needy thief, I thought to myself.....
I continued around the house in a daze, trying to figure out who would steal all our crappy pictures off the walls and why they would have stolen all my wife's clothes and not mine.
My wife's clothes and not mine??? A woman housethief??? and she was a size 5??
I didn't call the cops yet, I was still in a daze. I also was running out of time to cash my check, the bank closes at six. So, I decide to go deposit my check before the inside of the bank closed for the day.
After I made my deposit, I was just starting to walk away from the counter
and a thought stopped me.
"Could you do me a favor?" I asked the teller. "Could you check that account and tell me what I have in there?"
After her response, I figured it out.... There was no way the house theft was a coincidence anymore. Thousands of dollars missing from our savings account and all of my wife's clothes were gone.
Ding Ding Ding!
The lightbulb goes off in my tired brain while I am standing in the bank, all stinky and still in my nasty dried sweat clothes.
My wife left me. My wife LEFT ME???!!!
The money missing meant, at least to me, that she wasn't planning on coming back either .
So there I stand in the bank, my mouth slightly ajar, scanning my mind for a recent fight, an argument, a disagreement, any reason at all. Why wouldn't there be a note? How could this have happened? What did I do that was so terrible?
What? Why? How? Why?
I eventually got what passed for her reasons later, here are a couple:
"I love you, I'm just not IN love with you"
"I just don't want to be married anymore"
I have never had so many conflicting emotions raging inside my head as that day and the days that followed. Anger, Sadness, Relief, Happiness, you name it, if it is an emotion I felt it. My mind never has fully recovered from it, I do not think it ever will. It felt like a complete breakdown of everything I had accomplished. I had already accomplished a lot to be so young, but it was all for her, so she would be happy.
With no one to share my accomplishments with, who is to say anything had ever been accomplished?
My whole world stopped turning that day.
I wish I could say it was because she was a wonderful wife and she had made me so happy..... That isnt the truth though.....
Truth is, I was not happy. I was content and had resigned myself to how she was and thats just the way things were.
I even miss her sometimes, how sick is that?
I turned 30 on Saturday and am questioning my existence, pondering my prolific pontification, inspecting my introspection, wondering where all my life goals went.
If you see me this Friday July seventh, or a few days before or after, give me a hug. Shoot, give me two!
I will be easy to spot, look for the tall bald man walking with his head hung down muttering to himself like a crazy person.
If you are a woman and you have made it this far, I offer this one exhortation, a pleading, a simple request.
Should you be married and decide that you do not want to be married anymore, don't rob your own house, and if you decide to anyway......... Leave a note for the poor guy!
Be careful with your heart, dear reader!
It happened to me, it can happen to you!
From the deepest, darkest, pit in the Bear Cave