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Author: LossOfHope03
ASL Info:    16/female/USA
Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 30 /29 /31
Words: 98
Class/Type: Poetry /Death
Total Views: 1016
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 680


this is a poem about Kurt Cobain's heroin use. although i don't believe that heroin killed him since he actually died from a gun shot wound, i do believe that it played a factor in how/why he died. the last line "his ashes burnt" may not really go with the rest of the poem but i meant it as like he was cremated. but if you have a suggestion to get that across to readers in a better way please let me know.


He injects it in, underneath his skin
His Heroin.
It penetrates, he's feeling great.
It soars through his body,
He's at peace again.
He bobs in and out.
His friends have no doubt,
He's out of control,
And spiraling out.
He's got very few choices,
And many who care.
If only he could see they were there.
He's blind to love,
But awake to hate.
He's got everything to lose
And everything to gain.
Does he just see this as a game?
He chose to lose,
Such a pitiful choice.
And now he's gone,
His ashes burnt.

Submitted on 2006-09-21 20:32:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Glad to know there are some younger Curt Cobain fans still out there. As an artist, he is my absolute favorite. The reason is because of something he said in an interview. He was asked if it bothered him that so many other bands were imitating the Nirvana sound and he said "no, it doesn't bother me as long as its sincere."

And I learned that the first lesson of art is to be sincere.
It has become to be the thing I look for most in person, not just an artist.

As for the poem:

Criticisms: Rhyming. Please don't do that - it handcuffs the poem and detracts from the meaning you are trying to communicate.

Praises: The topic - it does show that he was in an out of control state of mind and that is what contributed to his death. People kill themselves because they have lost their mind and that is what happened to the man. I think you communicated that throughout.

My advice is to try again, without the rhyming, and you'll find it will make for a more potent piece.

Art Lives!
| Posted on 2006-09-21 00:00:00 | by tjsmith5 | [ Reply to This ]

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