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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Half of Everythingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mon28
    ASL Info:    29 /F /Montana
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 176/59/14
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1085
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1698



    Description:
       Something I wrote just for fun tonight. I would love some ideas on how to brush it up a bit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHalf of Everythingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why it had come down to this
    Parting our ways now
    Dividing up what belong to us both
    Letting go and starting over

    You left with someone else in hand
    I was there questioning why
    How did I not see it coming
    What form of closure could be the best

    The idea came to me one evening
    Half of everything was fair
    How you got yours and I mine
    Was the most important part of it all

    You said that everything should have a price
    This with out a doubt I did agree
    The appraiser came and stamped it all
    Right down to the petty, right to the wall

    I wanted nothing but this I did not say
    For I took mine in damage
    No matter what the cost
    Fifty to me was all that was lost

    You see I gained fifty in a different way
    In a way that seemed so sweet
    Nothing for her and nothing for you
    For I had a number that I could go too

    I took some bolts, smashed some lights
    Grabbed the battery and two tires
    Left your wires but I wanted mine cut
    If she needs moved you better get a tow

    Only the cords off the appliances
    Very generous I know
    Chair legs and table tops
    So much else to get through

    Nothing was left together, just like us
    Things can not be put back
    Now matter how hard you try
    Mine is at the dump, and you wonder why

    Why did I give up my half of everything
    We decided everything was to be fair
    So we both paid the price with a loss
    And we did it for something new




    Submitted on 2006-09-21 23:27:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yeah, i like the message -- you did lose half yourself in the thing but you gained a new perspective or something. i dunno. this seemed to have some hidden messages in there. i liked it. i read it a few times. at the end i don't think you were talking about losing your half at all. or the fact that the dude was somewhat materialistic. or the fact that none of material things you halved would ever compensate for the half of your heart that he took away or something. there was more to it than just the mere break up -- at least that's what i felt. but i guess every reader gives the writer's (or someone in the field of artistic expression) work a different life. in the process making it something that's very personal to the reader. this was something to think bout. good stuff. very good stuff.
    | Posted on 2006-09-30 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a sad story but kind of cute. I got a laugh out of the part by cutting everything in half. Your description was very well put in this piece, almost to the point making me want to go cut something in half. A very creative picture you painted with words. I hope “she” (the one the story Is about) was able to move on. Good job with this piece, I enjoyed the read. Good luck with all your writing
    | Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by gigglebox24 | [ Reply to This ]


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