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    dots Submission Name: Short Vacation and Vision Questdots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 267
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1646


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    dotsShort Vacation and Vision Questdots

    (a metaphor for love)

    It was a short vacation
    and vision quest in late October.
    A trip though Death Valley
    scheduled between Halloween
    and the Day of the Dead.

    Jiggling on a dirt road,
    taking poetic license
    with the word road,
    graded, sports bra required path
    for vehicular use is more precise.

    It transitions by way of a mountain pass
    to be a steep loose sand and rock
    descent through pupil dilating,
    eons as artist, sculpted splendor shape
    and odd but natural landscape.

    No time for thought, but I
    am acutely aware of surroundings
    and the energy of the experience:
    hairpin turn at a cliff's edge,
    heavy breathing from fear
    and rarely viewed hidden beauty

    I am traveling along a creek bed
    with a few boulders removed.
    Looking at flowers clinging in cracks,
    sky scraping sides of a slashing wound
    in the earth that requires no healing.

    I slowly continue to wind and descend
    until I slide out of the canyon where
    the desert vista again pours itself to fill the horizon.
    Now I can think, but I cannot believe that
    I saw what just passed through my life.

    I move back into the salt flat desert
    with appreciation, vivid memories
    and my capacity for wonder deepened.
    I think, how unusual it is that
    exploring remote regions seems to be
    a lot like love.

    I drive home alone.

    Submitted on 2006-09-22 05:03:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Chrystine,

    I like your images and imaginative use of landscape as metaphor.
    This does feel alot like love, the beauty and the treachery.. all about
    falling into into the abyss.

    Hi my name is Splat, what's yours? Oh, and I've met the roadrunner types here also. beeep~

    The line about the bra is a stitch, good thing the extra weight didn't topple you over. I like all of this but these lines in particular caught my eye and sense of nostalgia.

    I am traveling along a creek bed
    with a few boulders removed.
    Looking at flowers clinging in cracks,
    sky scraping sides of a slashing wound
    in the earth that requires no healing.

    But I have only one request and that is to drop the enclosed in parentheses explanation and title the poem "Love as Landscape"
    or something that meets your fancy.

    On the road to love,
    we found love
    it was a whisper
    and would have been
    missed if we hadn't noticed.

    Beautiful, thanks for sharing,

    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed the landscape and the descriptive power of the imagery in this all too brief romantic excursion. The ending says it all too well.

    This was more than clever, and probably closer to home than anyone would like to admit.

    Well done.
    | Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]

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