My Will is Tense by lynn marsters

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Submission Name: My Will is Tense dots

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Author:	lynn marsters
ASL Info:	20/f/canada
Elite Ratio:	3.41 - 49/61/32
Words:	91

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	933
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	588

Description:
this is not a suicide poem

My Will is Tense dots

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My will is tense
My thoughts unsecured
Against the pilfering and thieving masses

They who would seek to do me harm
No longer gain my fear
My desire overwhelms it

My will is fading
My thoughts are of danger
My heart is in it

Death
Is where my heart lives
Dying
Is what my soul yearns

It attracts me in all aspects
A dimly luminous idea
Gently bobbing in the ocean
Of my mind

In a sea of grey
Even black is a colour

Submitted on 2006-09-22 16:45:45 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
Hmmm... I like this, it placates(sp?) me.... I love how you did the 4th stanza, it was very well done... I personally like these darker poems, and this was pretty well written.. the only thing I can think of changing about it would be to maybe add more detail, while trying to keep it short.. but I don't know, that would be hard. Good job, and hope to read more from you!

From the Darkest Reflection,
>Shadow_Mirror<
| Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow_Mirror | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.