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Rainy Days Downtown

Author: James Reyna
Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 227 /166 /24
Words: 110
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1219
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 672


This was a poem I wrote while looking at the day go by through the hospital window at a beautiful scene downtown

Rainy Days Downtown

Lightning above the cathedral
And rain beneath your feet
Vagabonds and hurried people
Walking downtown streets
And I sit here watching the rain
With nothing but you on my mind
Nothing in my heart but pain
But outside is the peace that I find
Rainy days downtown

The bird sits on his stop sign
As he must do everyday
But I sit here, while I say I'm fine
And reality is another way
For just as the trolly pulls away
So my thoughts for you
Must slowly but surely go away
But as I sit here, down
I stand in awe of
Rainy Days Downtown

Submitted on 2006-09-22 21:06:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I love feel that I get from the imagery here. The bird sits on his stop sign... I like that... like he owns it. Rainy days always give me a melancholy feeling and this poem portrays that perfectly.

I do tend to be a bit of a critic and it wouldn't be me if I didn't comment on the rhyme and flow. In the first stanza you've got a great rhyme scheme going and the rythym was good. The second stanza (and I read it several times, several different ways) lost the rythym and the rhyme was off. This may have been intentional and I may have just read it wrong... just my opinion and we all know how opinions are like (censored).

Anyway, I like the feel of it and enjoyed the write.
| Posted on 2006-10-23 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice write, man. It reminded me of a short essay I read not too long ago called "The Sounds of The City." It describes in beautiful detail the sights and sounds of New York City from day to night, and this had a similar feel. I love a poem that lets me become the author and see what he sees. This was great, man.

With Love,
| Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by Jacob Seibert | [ Reply to This ]
  Good poem. I liked the rhyming you did, and the repetition thing too. It was sad, but very well written. And like Areinaka, it reminds me of San Fransisco. My favorite place. Half my family lives there.

Nice write

| Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
  Ace. Sounds like a song lyric too.
| Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by Raz66 | [ Reply to This ]
I am so glad you asked me to check this out
I have a very deep rooted Love for the rain
I actually pray for the rain to come
So I may stand outside and let it wash away all the pain and negativity stored inside my body and mind
You captured the rain beautifully and really gave it human life
I Loved this
Another Favorite from you
God Bless

Please keep in touch!!!
| Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  WICKED! I lub it. Seriously. Very wonderful. It reminds me of London, or San Fransisco... Even though I have never been there. Hope you have a great day!
| Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoyed reading this. Great visual. I could picture people bustling around a dowtown street with people passing each other, glancing across the street, and a bird singing in the midst of it all. Just like a painting. Excellent job.
| Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]

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