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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Apple Blossoms, Siberian Winters.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: fabulousAMY
    ASL Info:    21/Female/CA
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 159/159/61
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 200
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 770



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApple Blossoms, Siberian Winters.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh, how once you loved me!
    You would swear on stars, gods, rings, lives...
    But now no longer are you mine.
    I fall into darkness, velvet nights, cold exile, Siberian winter.
    You want to fall into her arms, apple blossoms, sunny autumn afternoons.
    I want to throw up,
    Lose my heart, my love, my emotions.
    You want none of that.
    You do not allow me to move on,
    My oppressive czar, you do not leave time for me to flee.
    But you seek her and find her,
    And watch me cry and whither,
    Like those apple blossoms in winter.
    It's dead, it's over, but the photographs and memories of our apple blossoms linger and live on.
    How tired and old I feel,
    We are... No more.




    Submitted on 2006-09-23 01:33:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way you wrote this one! The Russian winter can be the hardest on earth.and everyone on earth knows it! So mention of it makes this all the colder. Great write!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      one: I hope this is fiction for you.
    two: I think you paint a good picture.
    three: Your picture needs a little windex.
    but just a little.
    four: I think the last line should read like this
    ...
    We... are no more. No brackets.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      Vivid imagery for a lost love. I like this. I am not so sure about the final two lines and the brackets. Maybe if you turned it round? "We are no more, I feel tired and old." or, even: I am tired and old.

    More please

    Donald
    | Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]



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