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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: these words(mean nothing)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dark figure
    ASL Info:    17/m/uk
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 66/74/29
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1100
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 288



    Description:
       need a title need to add more im working on it im have trouble writing at the moment ARRRGH :P


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthese words(mean nothing)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i know your there but i feel the distance
    i know your there but you secice to be of existence
    if i wanted to be alone i wouldnt need your assistance
    i was lookin for the path of least resistance
    my love will be for ever dont worry about the consistance




    Submitted on 2006-09-25 10:32:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Huh, ok A little to rythmic for me. And I would devide the lines into 2 and put a brink between them that would make it work beeter. Also color and synonyms, you got emotion, feeling, and passion. Now just center it somewhat. Add a little extra for spunk and more interesting read maybe
    "i know your there but i feel the distance"...
    -"like the moon hiding beneeth the coulds"- Something like that, Idk, kep hitting it, you got enough to work with!
    | Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      I know you're there, but I feel the distance.
    I know you're there, but you seize to be of existence.
    If I wanted to be alone, I wouldn’t need your assistance.
    I was looking for the path of least resistance.
    My love will be forever, don't worry about the consistence.

    For a title, I'm thinking, Longing for Love. No, that doesn't sound good. I'm not sure really. Good write.
    ~Caotic~
    | Posted on 2006-09-25 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]


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