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I Moan

Author: Emerging Soul
ASL Info:    48/VERY female/Wisconsin
Elite Ratio:    4.36 - 1240 /1114 /244
Words: 75
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1239
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 588


Foreplay...the only way to get there...*L*

I Moan

I touch your lips
I quiet you
Tenderly seeking
The secrets inside your smile
No hushed words hiding
I breathe with you
Desperately needing
The vibrato of your desire
Beneath my tongue
Of almost-there
And nearly-miss
I brush against your need
And feed my own
As we dance against intentions
Never known
Circling like birds
Over fields freshly sown
And as you penetrate my heart and soul
I moan

Submitted on 2004-05-24 09:06:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Hey, I love this. I really can't criticize the writing but there is one word that doesn't do it for me. Vultures. Where I live, near one of the Great Lakes, seagulls are what fly over fresh plowed fields. The vultures are here, but they fly over freshly plowed deer, road kill! Not a criticism, just something to share. Great poem.
| Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the poetic wording to describe these sensual actions in an indirect, alluring way. Even can read the whole thing metaphorically, from the male point of view.

The reference to vultures disturbed me a little. Especially because you followed with the reference to freshly-sown fields, since vultures eat dead animals.

All in all, very sexy.
| Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Amelit | [ Reply to This ]
  You handled it well, you made it alluring and sensual. NOT a depressed write LOL.

I like the way that you record the fimine wiles and wooing of partners, its TRUE.
| Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
  Umm... very descriptive!

I like some of the rhyming patterns you have... loosely rhyming; not bound by any certain cadence, which I like.
| Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]

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