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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Best Friendsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 646
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1076



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBest Friendsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Best friends are a candied-apple
    Swirl of all life’s wonderful things

    They are the bright and colorful jewels
    Found in a page of glittering stickers
    The unpredictable flash
    Of fireflies at night

    They are the light and airy sweetness
    Of sugar-spun cotton candy
    The breathless thrill of excitement
    In a roller coaster’s sudden drop

    They are the perfect ease and comfort
    Found in a cushy well-worn armchair
    The simple warmth and goodness
    Of the first bite of a cookie

    They are the bright and cheerful rays
    Of the sunshine in the morning
    The vibrant tumbling colors
    Of a cool sunset at night

    They are the firm and steady anchor
    Of a ship tossed by the storm
    The hiding place and refuge
    Of a twisted, gnarled old tree

    They are the serene and quiet bliss
    Of the moonlight ‘cross the mountains
    The pure and perfect harmony
    To the music in our hearts




    Submitted on 2006-09-26 16:29:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ooooh! Your metaphors just blow me away! They are so clever, not in the snobby, nine-year-old-girl-being-fresh-with-you way, but in a thoughtful, descriptive way. The phrases you chose not only conjure images in your mind, but really stimulate all five senses...

    My favourite stanza is the first, I love it so much. It captures childhood memories so well...

    "They are the bright and colorful jewels
    Found in a page of glittering stickers
    The unpredictable flash
    Of fireflies at night"

    Who doesn't like sticker books, or catching fireflies in the dusk? I think your poem is very relatable, and "catchy", like jingle-catchy.

    I was happy when I read your comments and saw that you liked my poems...but now I'm really honoured, because your poems are awesome!

    Keep on keeping on,
    TRAVWELL!
    | Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by travwell | [ Reply to This ]
      This one was very warm and heart felt Jen. You have painted a picture like a true artist for all to see. A Mona Lisa in words!
    Keep writing...
    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Jengrr

    Beautiful, descriptive imagery. I love it.

    I particularly like this stanza:

    'They are the firm and steady anchor
    Of a ship tossed by the storm
    The hiding place and refuge
    Of a twisted, gnarled old tree'

    Promotes the thought of the rock steady mate who is there to help you in good and bad no matter what. Someone you can tell your biggest and most intimate secrets and thoughts without fear of being found out.

    One detail to rectify:

    'Founding a cushy well-worn armchair'

    shouldn't that be:

    'Found in a cushy well-worn armchair '

    Love your work

    'On On'

    Ocker
    | Posted on 2006-09-26 00:00:00 | by Ocker7290 | [ Reply to This ]


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