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    dots Submission Name: In Maydots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 276


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Maydots

    You look different in May than in April:
    your espresso hair is now Maxwell House brown.
    New freckles dot your nose for the sun brought you back to life like it brings back the irises,
    and you smile now though you never did when the grass was dead.

    Submitted on 2004-05-24 11:00:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Now that's what I really need. Would go down well with this poem too! And, did I mention that I really enjoyed your journal entry? Really colourful and alive. Do that again.
    | Posted on 2004-05-25 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      funny how people come alive in different seasons. perhaps this person is a summer child. i like the description of the hair as "maxwell house" and "espresso." very descriptive. i am a fall person myself. it is my season of passion....
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how you used the coffee to describe the hair, lets you really see that rich brown colour, but it needs something else, some little bit is missing. I love it all the same though, wonderful write, m'lady. ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      i actually don't like mays. But thats just me. This is a very interesting angle for looking at seasons. I think you could make it longer but i say that a lot.
    i think you could do better without the maxwell but maybe that means something to you i dont know.
    good job anyway.
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by jonsmithy | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know what to say about this poem. It's not bad but it seems a little hollow...

    ParadoxOne Axe-Thought-Murderer
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting, and I like how you used the coffee to explain the hair, and the months in how you change, I really liked it, and as I read, I could smell coffee, mmmm... :)
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by prisonerinbondage | [ Reply to This ]
      i think i'm one of those people, except my hair goes from cherry chocolate red to Maxwell House brown. hee. you are superb at capturing moments that are simply "more" in terms of inner thoughts than the length of the observation. =]

    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, I especially like how you make the dicription of the person based on Coffee brands, very good idea... your work always stands out(in a good way)... keep it up...
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Nice
    "Maxwell House brown"
    I like that alot. I like freckles myself. It's cool you picked something some view as an imperfection, and put a positive spin on it. I enjoyed the read thanx for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Amy this is excellent. Quite amazing and I....
    am faving this.

    It's me!!
    I wish I didn't have to state all my little reasons to shut the comment box up. That should do it...
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]

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