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Vegan Torture Stories

Author: Jinxed
ASL Info:    18/f/az
Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 23 /21 /14
Words: 145
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 816
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 821


This one is an assignment from my poetry class. It was to write a poem about what type of vegetable you would be and I picked the potato. this poem can be about many things and I'm interested in what people have to say about it.

Vegan Torture Stories

oh, to be a vegetable
living in the ground
its hard to say
when they will come
and get you.
What are they going to do to me
I ask. You'd think they wouldn't eat
me since I come from dirt
But oh, they find a way to torture
the likes of us potatos.
Don't ask me how I know
but I know,
they mash us up
dice into potato bites
cut us in to slivers and
fry us in boiling oil.
Or ever worse, they wrap us in silver
cook us alive, slit us open and eat our insides
It's sometimes nice to know that I am the mose used vegetable
but alas its a hard life being a potato
waiting this salty death.
So it kind of over rides the thought
that i am the best.

Submitted on 2006-09-27 12:21:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  These are plain and simply my suggestion applied:
"Oh! To be a vegetable
living in the ground -
it's hard to say
when they will come
and get you.
What are they going to do to me? I wonder.
You think they would not eat
me since I come from within dirt,
but lo! They find a way,
still to torture
the likes of us potatos.
Don't ask me how I know -- I know,
they mash us up,
dice us into potato bites,
cut us into slices(?),
they even fry us in burning oil.
They wrap us in silver,
cook us alive and cut us open
just to eat our insides.
It's sometimes nice to know
that I am the most used vegetable,
but alas, it's a hard life,
being a potato
waiting for a salty death.
It overrides the thought
that I truely am the best vegetable."

I like the idea, even though it is one of those cliché poetry class assignments. It's kind of funny how you take a look at their lives, and blame vegan for killing them. But I still think you could put so much more time and effort into this one piece. I also think you could develop the idea further and play on puns a lot more. Maybe even think up a rhyming scheme. Either way... these are just a few of my suggestions... Your choice to take them or not...

| Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]
  Haha! Oh, I liked this one. Very creative! I'd never thought about what it would be like to be a potato before....

I noticed a few errors toward the end, though, that I should point out to you... 1st: there was a should be "most used vegetable" you have "mose" 2nd: "its a hard life being..." there should be an apostrophy in "it's" 3rd: "overrides" IS actually one word. You also failed to capitalize "I" in the last line and the first letter of "Oh" at the beginning. (Your punctuation is a little odd in some places, too...but I wasn't sure how to fix, I'll leave that to someone else...or to a careful proofread from you ).

Thanks for the great read!
| Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by rememberplaydoh | [ Reply to This ]

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