Vegan Torture Stories
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Description:
This one is an assignment from my poetry class. It was to write a poem about what type of vegetable you would be and I picked the potato. this poem can be about many things and I'm interested in what people have to say about it.
Vegan Torture Stories
oh, to be a vegetable living in the ground its hard to say when they will come and get you. What are they going to do to me I ask. You'd think they wouldn't eat me since I come from dirt But oh, they find a way to torture the likes of us potatos. Don't ask me how I know but I know, they mash us up dice into potato bites cut us in to slivers and fry us in boiling oil. Or ever worse, they wrap us in silver cook us alive, slit us open and eat our insides It's sometimes nice to know that I am the mose used vegetable but alas its a hard life being a potato waiting this salty death. So it kind of over rides the thought that i am the best. |
Submitted on 2006-09-27 12:21:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| These are plain and simply my suggestion applied: "Oh! To be a vegetable living in the ground - it's hard to say when they will come and get you. What are they going to do to me? I wonder. You think they would not eat me since I come from within dirt, but lo! They find a way, still to torture the likes of us potatos. Don't ask me how I know -- I know, they mash us up, dice us into potato bites, cut us into slices(?), they even fry us in burning oil. They wrap us in silver, cook us alive and cut us open just to eat our insides. It's sometimes nice to know that I am the most used vegetable, but alas, it's a hard life, being a potato waiting for a salty death. It overrides the thought that I truely am the best vegetable." I like the idea, even though it is one of those cliché poetry class assignments. It's kind of funny how you take a look at their lives, and blame vegan for killing them. But I still think you could put so much more time and effort into this one piece. I also think you could develop the idea further and play on puns a lot more. Maybe even think up a rhyming scheme. Either way... these are just a few of my suggestions... Your choice to take them or not... Outlaw | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ] | Haha! Oh, I liked this one. Very creative! I'd never thought about what it would be like to be a potato before.... | I noticed a few errors toward the end, though, that I should point out to you... 1st: there was a typo....it should be "most used vegetable" you have "mose" 2nd: "its a hard life being..." there should be an apostrophy in "it's" 3rd: "overrides" IS actually one word. You also failed to capitalize "I" in the last line and the first letter of "Oh" at the beginning. (Your punctuation is a little odd in some places, too...but I wasn't sure how to fix it....so, I'll leave that to someone else...or to a careful proofread from you  ).Thanks for the great read! ~Doh | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by rememberplaydoh | [ Reply to This ] | |
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