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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beyond Brown Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 673



    Description:
       i dunno.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeyond Brown Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Beyond my brown eyes,
    there's plenty for you to see.
    These beautiful eyes of a dreamer with dreams so big,
    only these eyes can dream.
    My eyes of only a believer,
    to believe what I want to achieve.
    These x-ray eyes to see right through your fake smiles and enemies.
    My eyes may become angry and give a mean stare,
    but when these eyes are sad with sorrow,
    they drown and drown in tears.
    If you really know me, you can see the story in my eyes.
    If you look close enough,
    you see where it all lies.
    I have plenty more where it came from,
    beyond my brown eyes.




    Submitted on 2006-09-27 18:28:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem was pretty amazing. I have to say that you explained everything is pretty good detail for how short it was. I suppose poems don't have to be long to be good. It flowed very well and it was understandable. So I give you props for that.
    Otherwise....I am at a loss for words.

    Good job.
    ~Strator
    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      Eye are the window to our soul. don't you think? This was a beautiful peace!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the concept of this poem. Very deep and powerful. Like it was said before the whole "the eyes are the window to the soul" concept. This poem matches me well. You are a very good writer. My favorite line was:

    "My eyes may become angry and give a mean stare,
    but when these eyes are sad with sorrow,
    they drown and drown in tears."

    Alot of emotion there. I can actually picture eyes so filled with tears that they are drowning. Very well done. This is going on my favorites. :)

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      Welcome to my world!! Replace Brown with Blue, and you described me perfectly lol. Great job.
    ~David~
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the intent behind this one was kewl; like Im' really into the idea that you can see a lot in a person's eyes; and I agree...the more you get to know someone the more you can read into the different kinds of looks they give and stuff that strangers often overlook. One of my oldest friends is like that, she just gets little 'sparks' and stuff, it's kinda kewl. and you know what I find sad though? when I look in the mirror I Feel like my eyes should be WAY more intense then they actually are; and then one time I was just randomly singing and my friends all like "that's so kewl jess, your eyes seem totally listless and focused." that comment really upset me cause I feel so much emotion while I'm singing; anyway now that I've rambled on a bit, I Thought this write was good, it could have been better in format but no write's perfect.
    peace,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a good poem for you being as young as you are you made something that seems like the smallest thing to some shallow people such as eyes and there are so many elements to such a small part of the body however there was only one line that it could have done without or at least could be rethought

    I have plenty more where it came from

    this line is of course very overused and when it is used it is used in a more comical and unserious fashion this is too much of a serious and good poem for that line (don't take that the wrong way cause this was a good poem aside from that) I am very confident you can find another way to say that you are very talented

    much LOVE
    James
    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This was really good for someone your age, and it's not about teenage angst like most teen poetry is.

    The rhythm flowed in and out of the poem, but I do believe the way you worded things make up for that.

    To me this speaks true to the quote, "the eyes are the windows of the soul."

    Really awesome write.

    ~Stygian
    | Posted on 2006-09-27 00:00:00 | by Stygian | [ Reply to This ]


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