Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Pure Denial


Author: RJCHANDLER
ASL Info:    30/F*GA
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 44 /68 /23
Words: 123
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 793
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 799



Description:


Even at my age, I do things that I KNOW I should not do


Pure Denial





In your arms at night
Like it is where I belong
Asleep in pure denial
Deep down I know it's wrong.

In this lover's game
We each play out the part
And when the game is over
We're each left with a broken heart

As we've allowed ourselves to feel
The false emotions alive inside
I lose myself in you
From reality I hide.

Searching for a reason
For this moment that exists
A lesson to be learned?
What good could come of this?

As the new days brings the light
I have become painfully aware
What I once thought was a fantasy
Has turned out a nightmare.


10-15-05





Submitted on 2006-09-27 23:24:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I think this is pretty good. THe rhyming scheme works and stuff. I think that your third stanza could use a bit of work. It doesn't seem to flow very well, though I will understand if you do not wish to change it. Other than that I really enjoyed it. I can't personally relate, but I understand the emotions coming out of it. Awesome.
~CAotic~
| Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



119829