Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fa-Qdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: spacedoutboy
    ASL Info:    22/M/Il
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 32/48/23
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1167



    Description:
       This one's pretty much self-explanitory. If it hits a lil too close to home for some of you, my deepest apologies. If you are offended just because it's graphic, and think it should be taken down because of it...Your a pansy, get over it... I've known to many people to fall victim to horrific crimes of this kind. And it makes me sick to my stomach. Hardly anyone would have the balls to make a poem like this, but I like to push boundaries and break the mold. But this is far from a pleasent poem, so if your easily offended...DONT READ IT!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFa-Qdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As they die there
    With their thoughts broken open
    The stolen sanctity
    Ripped away with all your pushing
    Sucked the life right out of them
    Within them periling
    Discarded their halos
    And stepped on their angel wings

    Concentrated blows
    Ripping the lines of skin
    Suggestive feel strokes
    The only way that you can feel
    Sadistic torment
    Fun for you in every way

    Broken Dolls and Shattered Minds
    Tortured Souls and Deadened Eyes
    You stole their shine
    You left them cold
    Dead to life and all alone

    Broken bags the shuttering daze
    Rip off your tool and throw away
    Haunted dreams that forever last
    The sickening thought of your pathetic grasp

    They'll wait for you on the other plane
    To hand you back all your pain
    They'll lay you out and bind you up
    Cut out your soul and chop it up
    Drive their hate into your eyes
    Dig them out and cauterize
    Slit your throat and watch it sag
    And this still wont kill the pain they have...




    Submitted on 2006-09-28 04:31:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this poem isnt offensive at all. u needed to e discriptive to show the light. u rote for a good cause.

    shyt like that get s me really mad. ughh anger now

    awsome write.
    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      i completely misconstrued the meaning of this. and after knowing its true defination i can't quite bring myself to read it again.it's way too personal for me on both levels. i love it anyway.
    | Posted on 2006-09-30 00:00:00 | by black widow | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoah!! Yep, that about covers it.
    loved the description you gave to introduce the poem. nicely done.
    this is kinda like shoving it in our faces, rubbing our noses in it. it yells 'wake up'!!

    love the verse ~

    'Broken Dolls and Shattered Lives
    Tortured Souls and Deadened Eyes
    You stole their shine
    You left them cold
    Dead to life and all alone'

    very clever.
    this piece shows a lot of pure feeling and emotion, you poured yourself into this one and done a good job. i think you still could have been even more graphic, without going over the top though.
    and yes, i am a pansy.
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    119851

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry