[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Waltz of Deathdots

    Author: Mr. Creep
    ASL Info:    16. Female. Here
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 96/177/112
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1135
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 648

       He dident know who I was

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaltz of Deathdots

    Grasp my heart with softly spoken words,
    take my life away.
    Dance with me underneath the moon,
    for I'll be dead by day.

    Sing to me a lullaby,
    one that reaks of death.
    Whisper words of love to me,
    Before I take my final breath.

    I wish we could fly through the clouds,
    with eyes filled with bliss.
    I want your arms around me tight,
    I want your restless kiss.

    In my dreams this is how it ends,
    to me never is to long.
    Problem is tomorrow I could die,
    and you would'nt notice I was gone...

    Submitted on 2006-09-28 19:40:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The only thing I can say about this piece besides WOW is that you have two misspelled words. wouldnt doesnt have an e in it, and tomorrow has two r's. other than that, this has been one of the best i have seen on here. i absoluetly love it!
    | Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by Emo_Doll | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy [censored] man that is sick (meaning it's awesome) Where did you get your inspiration?

    | Posted on 2006-09-30 00:00:00 | by FreeBird | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]