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    dots Submission Name: That's Life for Ya'dots

    Author: ConScribe
    ASL Info:    19/M/Tucson,AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 262/360/143
    Words: 888
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1155
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5489


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat's Life for Ya'dots

    Itís not everyday that you see
    a toddler beamed in the head by a grapefruit
    as it tries to walk for the first time.
    Itís not everyday that you can
    whistle a tune as you cross the street
    and have a flock of songbirds
    follow you with a perfectly harmonic chorus
    from the grid of crisscross power lines
    drooping between buildings overhead,
    shitting on coats and hats as they happily sing.

    Itís not everyday that you learn
    to juggle dimes on a dime
    or draw elaborate maps
    on a canvas of bubblegum wrappers,
    tracing quarters to represent islands,
    creations from a coin cartographer
    modeling the tip of Greenland
    after Washingtonís bald head.
    Itís not everyday that you witness
    a man lose his inheritance,
    squandered away on a unicycle race
    that he swears was rigged.
    Itís not everyday you hang
    a Jolly Roger above your home
    as a warning for door to door salesmen
    to stay clear.

    Itís not everyday that you make up
    a word like ďmotherskunkerĒ
    only just laugh it off
    as if it were all O.K.,
    when really, such botchery
    of the English language
    should be illegal in all fifty states,
    punishable by no less than death.
    Itís not everyday that you cry
    because laughter makes your belly hurt
    and you vomit milk through your nose.
    Itís not everyday that you cry
    with joy.

    Itís not everyday that you spit
    into the Grand Canyon
    and form your own ďnaturalĒ wonder.
    Itís not everyday that you fly
    in a convertible jet plane
    with three hundred and eighty mile an hour winds
    ripping out your hair
    as you complain to your stewardess
    that you canít hear the Captain on the intercom,
    only to have her reply,
    ďWhat Captain?Ē

    Itís not everyday that you watch
    a flat tire try to fix itself, discovering
    that the most useful of all tools
    is your own thumb,
    especially when your standing beside
    a smoking motor, halfway home on I-1.
    Itís not everyday that you see
    a pretty horse riding a ugly man
    with a saddle on his fat back
    and a bit grinding against his braces.
    Itís not everyday you JayWalk
    the river Styx.

    Itís not everyday that you build,
    sandcastles laced with stones,
    only to watch from a safe distance
    as punk-ass-jerk-wad bullies
    try to kick over your creation,
    breaking theirs toes with their own brutality.

    Itís not everyday that you play
    roller derby with papier-m‚chť
    Billy clubs filled with rocks,
    adding a little more pizzazz
    and a lottaí more blood
    to the game with never enough bruises
    and no clear winner on either side.
    Itís not everyday that you get a chance
    to plant a deodar in Central Park,
    allowing bottlenose bums
    to fertilize it with their piss.
    Itís not everyday that you smoke
    Mary-Jane to the marvel of well-mastered marimba music,
    making melodies to the magic of a mellow moon.
    Itís not everyday that you kiss
    the albino lips of an atypical black mamba,
    only to reverse your vows because you hate
    the taste of rotting almonds on your tongue.

    Itís not everyday that you view
    home videos of your own birth
    and have to fight back a fit of laughter.
    Itís not everyday that you hit
    a hole in one on a Par Nine,
    cursing under your breathe,
    blaming your bad luck on the wind
    because youíre blind and never saw it land.

    Itís not everyday that you noticed
    how the grin of a crescent moon
    looks more like a frown
    when you tilt your head a bit.
    Itís not everyday that you see
    a battle between shooting stars
    fighting for the beauty of mortals
    who sit on lawns chairs year round
    waiting to make a wish.

    Itís not everyday that you swim
    in a kiddy pool full of orange juice,
    calling it your last cup.
    Itís not everyday that you attend
    a one act play in the park,
    a romantic tale for the children
    who miss every sexual innuendo
    portrayed by offensive puppets.

    Itís not everyday that you hear
    God whispering in your ear,
    telling you to hope,
    only to answer with a ďHow High?Ē
    Itís not everyday you buy
    condoms with quarters
    or drugs with jellybeans.
    Itís not everyday you shallow
    swords to shit bullets.
    Itís not everyday you tap
    your foot to the beat of a Nickelodeon
    while learning the jitterbug
    from an agile mortician.

    Itís not everyday you kickbox
    a kangaroo with killer combos.
    Itís not everyday you hit
    the red eye flight to the land down under,
    following the setting of the sun
    halfway across the world.

    Itís not everyday you pop
    peyote buttons and ponder philosophy with a fantasy friend,
    but then again, thatís life for yaí.

    Submitted on 2006-09-29 00:14:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      heehee i love that kangaroo line. and accually i use to be able to wrestle with one everyday...then i moved to the US, but yeah i like the poem, well structured, well writen, its great. first thought it seemed to not make since but yeah it pulled together and after thinking about it it was great. Koodoes for you.

    PS: i'm out side of tucson to answer your comment and by the way, thx
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Adden Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      Nonsensical and long... first impression.

    Defenitely gives your reader some things to ponder. I do like your ending verse. I think that sums it up because it defenitely sounds as though the writer is pondering philosophy on peyote. I think it meanders a bit to much... doesn't keep a train of thought... by the time I got to the end I forgot what was at the beginning... but that may have been how you intended it.

    Anyway, no advice to offer. I read it a couple of times... it was a bit much for me.
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Itís not everyday that you noticed
    how the grin of a crescent moon
    looks more like a frown
    when you tilt your head a bit.

    its not everyday that impossible things happen
    (unless you wake in wonderland...)
    but the mundane mutates to maybe making me thing twice when i read this poem and wonder if perhaps perception enhanced i might grin back at the madcap moon's mischievous smiles instead of feeling the gravity of a solemn frown.
    | Posted on 2006-10-01 00:00:00 | by SadieMae | [ Reply to This ]
      Were you getting tired as you neared the end? The poem seems to get darker and, well, meaner, as you go. I enjoyed the beginning. The images were fun and pleasant. I didn't enjoy the last part, from about your convertible airplane on.

    I also have to question, why the extreme length? What are you saying with all these words? Is the change in nature an intended one or just a consequence of its length?

    Now, I'm just viewing this is a nonsense poem. If, however, it's more abstract, then I'm afraid it's done what most abstract poetry does for me - flies right over my head. I don't find any particular meaning here, beyond the words written.

    Interesting read. Thanks for sharing. mae
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]
      Three things I thought could be better. In the very first stanza the spacing lost me a little initially after the chorus of birds I was reading each line seperately thus the confusion was probably my fault but cause be the breaks in the middle of you thoughs. The part where you swithched it's not every day to it's evry day you jaywalk the river sticks. This didn't work for me because of it's placement. I think it would do better at then end of your piece becuase the current ending it a bit of a let down. It just seems as if you were too lazy to bring all of these thing together in a more profound manner. If you do chose to rework it at the very least i'd drop the it's in "it's everyday you jaywalk the river styxx. Everyday you jaywalk the river styxx sounds better. over all I like it. It's humorous and clever while a little nonsensical but that adds to the humor. Good luck finding readers with a piece this length; the lazy [censored]s. peace
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]

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