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    dots Submission Name: Unsent Letter.dots

    Author: icaughtfire591
    ASL Info:    16/f/MI
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 75/74/39
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1652

       to my friend. i love you so much, but i've hurt you more than you know...i am sorry, and i don't want you to leave. i would miss you more than you know.

    i am sorry. i love you wifey.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnsent Letter.dots

    Iím writing now to tell you Iím sorry,
    For some deeds that I have done.
    This apology probably wonít matter,
    Except for me, to anyone.

    You are not the only person I love
    Who I seem to have hurt yet again.
    And I donít deserve your forgiveness
    But I need you as my friend.

    I know that my request is selfish,
    And that even with your redemption
    Iíll still cling to my precious guilt,
    Though I never harbored these intentions.

    I did not mean to betray you
    By giving up one simple word.
    I wish now that I could take it back,
    If only Iíd known that it would cause your hurt.

    What makes this whole thing worse
    Is that I have done this to you before,
    Only I knew that I was doing wrong
    But being selfish, I just wanted more.

    I had stolen part of a love
    That was no longer mine to have;
    Now Iíve unwillingly forsaken your trust,
    It seems, and confessed of that.

    Two crimes against one for whom I claim to care
    The first knowingly, but the latter not,
    And your cold anger comes for the secondÖ
    When I least expect it, irony burns hot.

    And yet I spill my heart out now,
    Though Iím sure this letter will go unsent.
    You may never know these things, but still I write
    Because I have no other vehemence.

    So this apology will not matter,
    This admission wonít reach you or anyone,
    But Iím writing now to tell you Iím sorry
    Even though my deeds are done.

    Submitted on 2006-09-29 06:48:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was good, and was very touching, especially assuming yourself to be the person who you wrote this to. My only complain was that sometimes the rhymes felt forced, mostly in this:

    Iím writing now to tell you Iím sorry,
    For some deeds that I have done.
    This apology probably wonít matter,
    Except for me, to anyone.

    It felt pretty strongly forced there. However, it came across as geniune, and down right sad. It's wierd how you don't know if you should feel bad for the person who got betrayed, or the betrayer, and often it's both who got the short end.
    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it even though its a sort of clichť them. Not to be harsh, but I think it could flow a bit more, maybe read it over again...
    otherwise i really like it, some good word choice and a nice explanation for the apology.
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is extremely brilliant and thoughtful. I' going through a quandry myself with an issue of this, except the tables are turned. Very good piece here, keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by missing_angel | [ Reply to This ]

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