Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Injustice Systemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lynxstarfire
    ASL Info:    26/Feline/MD
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 100/106/54
    Words: 296
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 956
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1878



    Description:
       something i wrote about the fucked up judicial system here, in my pissed-off-ness at abusive assholes


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInjustice Systemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We can do something for you, but not for your kids,
    you were the one attacked, they're not involved in this,
    And even though he did assault,
    it's really not our problem or fault,
    we can't do more than our rulebooks say,
    who cares if your children are afraid to go play,
    they weren't attacked, they don't matter,
    and we highly doubt he'll serve their heads on a platter,
    you're the one he wants, to hate to kill,
    you're the one who makes his stomache ill,
    your kids matter not even the least,
    they were not victim to his inner beast,
    why should we offer protection for them,
    they're not the ones who has to worry about him,
    oh you say he's crazy?
    well he says you're lazy,
    he says your worthless and don't deserve to be loved,
    your kids aren't in danger not even a bit,
    after you are the one that he hit,
    and words are words and nothing more,
    we doubt he'll come back to settle the score,
    just because he said he'll kill you all,
    why should we risk having to take the fall?
    it's not our problem now take what we give,
    and enjoy the last few days you might have to live,
    we know he'll be pissed but the police filed charges,
    they didn't arrest him because he's by far not the largest,
    not the largest of our troubles or turmoils or strife,
    so now shut your mouth and go be a good wife,
    and maybe your husband won't beat you like your ex did,
    trying to control your life because you share a kid,
    look lady we'll do for you what we're allowed to do,
    but if you want anything else... you know what...
    screw you!!!!


    M.B.




    Submitted on 2006-09-29 12:08:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is an incredible write
    You spoke such truth in this
    I would give this a 9 on a Scale of 1-10
    Perfect work
    I had a friend when I was a kid whose parents got divorced when he was 7
    They got divorced because his father beat his mother
    Wouldnt you know the courts gave him unsupervised visatation
    And my friend winded up going to the hospitol three weeks after the divorce was final because his Dad beat the hell out of him
    It is so true the courts rarely think of the Kids in a divorce
    They are treated as an item like a car or house
    That truthfully is so sad
    Again an excellent write I would seriously consider sending to a newspaper to be published
    Great Work
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooh. That would be such a hit in the gut for the judicial system if they read that. Really great. It gives an immense feeling of anger and hatred. I can tell why you are so angry. If you ever need to talk, my email is deadlyoranges@yahoo.com. I hope you fare better.

    If I were you, I would've killed him already, but that's because I'm psychotic and bitter.

    Have a good day!!
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    119985

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry