Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 70 Word Short Story "Quite Quietly"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pietro
    ASL Info:    30/m/cebu
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 298/176/37
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Story/Nature
    Total Views: 1272
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 486



    Description:
       this was originally on my blog- not there anymore though, because as all can plainly see, its out here. anyway, this was inspired by many many other things, most notably an insanely trippy song called "quite quieter than spiders". enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots70 Word Short Story "Quite Quietly"dots
    -------------------------------------------



    A spider chanced by another spider in the heights of a renaissance cathedral.
    “Hello there,” said the spider to the other, dangling in mid air quietly.
    “Fascinating these humans, are they not?” asked the first.
    “No, not really.” answered the second.
    “What do you know about humans?” quivered and queried the first with curiosity. At this, the second spider traipsed away quite quietly, quipping “They have terrible taste in architecture.”




    Submitted on 2006-10-01 13:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm, arachnid architecture? what an interesting thought! hah, now i am thinking of spider frank lloyd wrights and i.m. peis.

    now that i do think about it, spiders are the architects of the natural world. their webs are greatly intricate and well-constructed while also purposeful and efficient. no wonder one would think the over-the-top renaissance cathedrals are in "terrible taste."

    the only thing that bothered my pedant self was several missing commas. but i enjoy your alliteration; i've noticed it in some of your other writing as well. and you capture the spiders' characters perfectly: one excited, youthful, and energetic, the other nonchalant and more jaded. this is excellent proof that you don't need to write pages upon pages to impart brilliance.
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by explosions | [ Reply to This ]
      I immediately smiled at this because I find it very cute and sweet. Don't take it as though I'm belittling this piece..on the contrary! You have written something that many do not think of within most of their lives hehe, and what a thought it is to think about: Spiders and their amazing ability of creating a unique type of architecture so delicate yet maintained as their survival...it's fascinating. I really enjoyed this..You are a deep thinker :)...

    Take care! I would love to read more of these thoughts so keep writing! I feel as though you are very wise =P

    ~darkrose16
    | Posted on 2006-10-01 00:00:00 | by darkrose16 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    120187

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Forms and girders written by Daniel Barlow
    Sun-meeting written by Daniel Barlow
    your feet, your flared nostrils, your forearms written by Daniel Barlow
    Terrified part three written by MyPeriodical
    Bleeding part two written by MyPeriodical
    being direct, it's written by Daniel Barlow
    Variety written by saartha
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Beloved written by Daniel Barlow
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sweet You written by Daniel Barlow
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    a given written by Daniel Barlow
    Emotions written by taintedsmiles
    For serious written by Daniel Barlow
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ahem written by Daniel Barlow
    Merge written by saartha
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Sólo por pensar asi written by MyPeriodical
    Cannot Assimilate written by Daniel Barlow
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    untitled#1 written by Daniel Barlow
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    what a thought could do to you written by Daniel Barlow
    Glyph written by Daniel Barlow
    The Inate written by MyPeriodical
    Roots written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry