Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 70 Word Short Story "Quite Quietly"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pietro
    ASL Info:    30/m/cebu
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 298/175/36
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Story/Nature
    Total Views: 1035
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 486



    Description:
       this was originally on my blog- not there anymore though, because as all can plainly see, its out here. anyway, this was inspired by many many other things, most notably an insanely trippy song called "quite quieter than spiders". enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots70 Word Short Story "Quite Quietly"dots
    -------------------------------------------



    A spider chanced by another spider in the heights of a renaissance cathedral.
    “Hello there,” said the spider to the other, dangling in mid air quietly.
    “Fascinating these humans, are they not?” asked the first.
    “No, not really.” answered the second.
    “What do you know about humans?” quivered and queried the first with curiosity. At this, the second spider traipsed away quite quietly, quipping “They have terrible taste in architecture.”




    Submitted on 2006-10-01 13:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm, arachnid architecture? what an interesting thought! hah, now i am thinking of spider frank lloyd wrights and i.m. peis.

    now that i do think about it, spiders are the architects of the natural world. their webs are greatly intricate and well-constructed while also purposeful and efficient. no wonder one would think the over-the-top renaissance cathedrals are in "terrible taste."

    the only thing that bothered my pedant self was several missing commas. but i enjoy your alliteration; i've noticed it in some of your other writing as well. and you capture the spiders' characters perfectly: one excited, youthful, and energetic, the other nonchalant and more jaded. this is excellent proof that you don't need to write pages upon pages to impart brilliance.
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by explosions | [ Reply to This ]
      I immediately smiled at this because I find it very cute and sweet. Don't take it as though I'm belittling this piece..on the contrary! You have written something that many do not think of within most of their lives hehe, and what a thought it is to think about: Spiders and their amazing ability of creating a unique type of architecture so delicate yet maintained as their survival...it's fascinating. I really enjoyed this..You are a deep thinker :)...

    Take care! I would love to read more of these thoughts so keep writing! I feel as though you are very wise =P

    ~darkrose16
    | Posted on 2006-10-01 00:00:00 | by darkrose16 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    120187

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    ME written by jjd
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry