Description: This just popped into my head fully formed one night.
A Broken Dream Repaired -------------------------------------------
I picked up my broken dream
and glued it back together.
Fascinated by the new facets of this soul mirror,
this mosaic of imagination,
I fell through a crack
onto the wrong side of the convoluted plot
and watched as if my fractured vision
were a film projected on the night sky.
i love this piece! our dreams often seem like bits and pieces that don't quite fit together. and they really are mirrors of our souls....your metaphors are wonderful, exact, perfect. you use language efficiently without wasting words. your pieces are tight and compact, and highly effective.
I love this! So after your dream breaks apart--you try to to piece it all together---- and become "fascinated by the new facets of this soul mirror"
That is such a clever image--A single mirror reflects only what stands in front of it-- one aspect, a single perspective. But when fragmented, it is like a strobe light on a dance floor--dispersing millions of spark like flashes. With such a simple analogy you create flashes of thought like that strobe light, and the reader cannot help but reflect on their own soul mirror. It is so true that when our dreams ( or hearts) are "broken", we wnd up doing some serious soul-searching and usually see things we clouldn't before.
I love the way you describe slipping through a crack---to the other side ,where you become a spectator in the audience rather than an on-stage player in this convoluted plot.
This is a great example of that wacky , wonderful chain of thought with allusions and associations that you seem to specialize in. Everything fits together like the mosaic you mention, and the images in your poem all create a whimsical yet thought provoking mind-trip.
I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO! Listen, I'm going to take this literally. LITERALLY! Just so I can be different. A hundred different views to one! Yeh! Fight the power, yaddah and all that... And no, I'm not on drugs.
"I picked up my broken dream and glued it back together"
Taken literally, you just woke up and now you're trying to remember what the dream was and have it again. ... That could work in a metaphorical sense, too, but I'm being literal.
"fascinated by the new facets of this soul mirror this mosaic of imagination"
I once saw bright purple lights on a beach in one of my dreams. When I woke up I thought I was crazy. ...umm... let's see, literal... Oh! Marvelling at the dream! Yeh, yeh!
... I promise I'm almost done.
"I fell through a crack onto the wrong side of the convoluted plot and watched as if my fractured vision were a film projected on the night sky"
Vague dreamy-ness-ness? Umm...
Okay, I'm done.
... Yes, I know I wasted your time...
But it was fun.
Yours Truly, Nobody.
PS. By literal, I meant the physical and not the metaphysical, which is really where dreams are so I suppose metaphysical would still be the word, but really w--... my top hat's on fire.
I like the idea you present here. Gluing a broken dream back together. I also like the imagery you vividly paint for your readers. "this soul mirror" - I believe that dreams are "soul mirror[s]" like you said because dreams can involve the things you desire the most. I really enjoyed this sis. :) I wish I had something productive to say but really you have a beautiful piece already. Take care hun! Love you! Hugs, Bethany
Sheesh. eliteskills should add another category - 'Favorite Writers'. You'd be on top of my list. Save me so much time! :) Yea, I agree with fredmelden - I wish I had something this good fully formed in my head too!
I wish I could have something this good arrive fully formed in my head! “Convoluted plot”: An interesting image and set of words. I usually like to nit-pick, but there's nothing to do here. My critique is necessarily short: This is good; the imagery is strong and consistent; the language is terse yet lyrical; and you have communicated abstractly but clearly. fred
Short, precise and perfectly complete. This piece speaks volumes for me and where i am at right now. I love and appreciate any writing that causes me to think as this one does. I think that you have taken something very deep and complex, yet explained it so very well in a short yet by no means 'simple' way. :) Thanks for sharing im adding this to favs.
each word works perfectly to deliver the image your portraying i like the way you use a mirror as a way of looking at life becasue alot of people look into a mirror and only see them self were you have seen your life.
fascinated by the new facets of this soul mirror this mosaic of imagination
are my frav lines it creates such a image i like it. :)
Oh, I love it when I get to be first. My thought is that everything fits and the last line sinks right into the rhyme just as it should. I've tried to find one line that I would choose as a fave but I can't, I have looked fives time now and they all see just the same in relevance.
It all works perfectly and I don't have any suggestions. In fact, as I say it out loud it sounds very realistic.