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    dots Submission Name: Butterflies and the bullet.dots

    Author: all the english boys
    ASL Info:    15
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 173/239/46
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1036
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1723

       its all human nature baby...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsButterflies and the bullet.dots

    this shotgun erupted
    blistering her all too eager trigger finger
    consuming all past reminisces
    laying in evanesce, the bullet lingers
    on her dry bottom lip
    a blood-soaked monarch butterfly
    king of this night tonight
    if he dodges, rather than be a cadaver
    willing to be ripped apart on her instinct
    thousands of horses are on their way
    crunching the bones of those left behind
    to rot under the morning glories
    to leave dismembered to the raw rising sun
    emmitting rays, setting fire to the helpless sky
    incorrigible is the race
    keep it up and don't lag behind
    she'll pour acid, letting it dance on your chest
    he'll carve a mirror image of his heart
    she'll reply with ripping out your left lung
    don't you know she takes your breath away?
    but of course he is not to be outdone
    broken glass traces a gloomy path
    on the way to a fading world
    they'll laugh, grieve your passing
    and fuck in the desolate wasteland
    the nuclear waste, traces in the stagnant air
    so they are the only ones left
    a sort of adam and eve
    bullets instead of apples
    holocaust instead of paradise
    orginal sin sets the standards
    they'll write love notes among the corpses
    with their fingers, absorbing the radiation
    let it take them over, the lymph nodes
    swell and explode, a sweet tang of rememberance
    when forever wasn't actually real
    lonliness wasn't only a figure of speech
    and these gaping sores along her back
    weren't oozing her remains

    Submitted on 2004-05-24 19:36:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      whoa, what imagery, I love the flowers and fruit imagery. and the "king of the night" line. really dark but even more powerful.
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      "she'll pour acid, letting it dance on your chest"
    I love this line although I like acid under my tongue not on my chest
    I like this poem.
    But I think the ending is lacking something...

    ParadoxOne Lazy-Scaled-Demon
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      violent indeed. all right hear me out on this. I think you should write a short story or even a novel. You have great vision. Every time i read one of your poems it's like reading some strange short version of a Stephen King novel. This kind of reminds me of a story he wrote called the gunslinger. I don't know why...maybe i'm just wierd like that.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by ares_nuke_1 | [ Reply to This ]

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