A gloved hand reaching
down the silk mask to cover
Terrified that the mask will slip
and that everything will crumble
behind the carefully crafted facade. Feigning
indifference because it's
easier than feeling.Not letting
anyone get close because it's
simply too exhausting. Scrambling
feverishly to save face:a face that is
so distorted by the mask, it is
impossible to tell
who this cadavre was.
A gloved hand, to leave no fingerprints, reaching
down to remove
the corpse's mask. So it is me after all.
OH MY GOODNESS!!! i have NEVER.. and i mean NEVER read something as deep, and emotionally touching, as this one.. the ending.. amazing... while reading it.. i almost cried, because its exactly how i feel.. hiding behind a mask, trying not to show emotion. being the "strong" person i'm known to be, all the while i'm simply wearing a mask to hide my feelings. and when i do show some kind of weakness, i wear the gloves, to keep my identity a secret.. weakness? what weakness, that wasn't me! bash it? are you serious!? i give you 20 out of 10 stars.. it's now a favorite
I think this poem only really took of when you said Feigning indifference, sorry, But it did hold me in it's grasp till we reached 'feigning' point, so maybe I'm wrong, (often am) Then it appeared to accelerate, if this makes any sense. You did ask us to bash it, will a softh cloth do?
Very good. I would remove the "or" and change up the structure a bit, but I enjoyed the allusions to how people pretend to be something there not just to please people. Yes, we all tend to do that sometimes. Good write.
I think your poem is very well written. you had one topic and you staied with it through out the poem. You also brought the poem back to the beginning to give the poem some closure. I believe the poem was about all people hiding behind a standard of personalities. Instead of saying one person does you claimed that all people do it. That seemed very insightful and smart. good poem. Jinx