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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: masqueradedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PoeticNonsense
    ASL Info:    20/f/around
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 205/215/100
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 740
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 703



    Description:
       rererererevised. just comment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmasqueradedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A gloved hand reaching
    upward, drawing
    down the silk mask to cover
    the face.

    Terrified that the mask will slip
    and that everything will crumble
    behind the carefully crafted facade. Feigning
    indifference because it's
    easier than feeling.Not letting
    anyone get close because it's
    simply too exhausting. Scrambling
    feverishly to save face:a face that is
    so distorted by the mask, it is
    impossible to tell
    who this cadavre was.

    A gloved hand, to leave no fingerprints, reaching
    down to remove
    the corpse's mask. So it is me after all.




    Submitted on 2006-10-02 10:57:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      OH MY GOODNESS!!! i have NEVER.. and i mean NEVER read something as deep, and emotionally touching, as this one.. the ending.. amazing... while reading it.. i almost cried, because its exactly how i feel.. hiding behind a mask, trying not to show emotion. being the "strong" person i'm known to be, all the while i'm simply wearing a mask to hide my feelings. and when i do show some kind of weakness, i wear the gloves, to keep my identity a secret.. weakness? what weakness, that wasn't me! bash it? are you serious!? i give you 20 out of 10 stars.. it's now a favorite
    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by Lena4ka | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this poem only really took of when you said Feigning indifference, sorry,
    But it did hold me in it's grasp till we reached 'feigning' point, so maybe I'm wrong, (often am)
    Then it appeared to accelerate, if this makes any sense.
    You did ask us to bash it, will a softh cloth do?
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by moggy | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good. I would remove the "or" and change up the structure a bit, but I enjoyed the allusions to how people pretend to be something there not just to please people. Yes, we all tend to do that sometimes. Good write.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think your poem is very well written. you had one topic and you staied with it through out the poem. You also brought the poem back to the beginning to give the poem some closure.
    I believe the poem was about all people hiding behind a standard of personalities. Instead of saying one person does you claimed that all people do it. That seemed very insightful and smart. good poem.
    Jinx
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by Jinxed | [ Reply to This ]


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