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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my shrinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dark figure
    ASL Info:    17/m/uk
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 66/74/29
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       a place i once love is now gone and so is that person i once shared that place with


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy shrinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    jewls of such beauty
    silk soft skin
    heart of gold
    such pure intentions

    my statue
    my shrine
    i vist you every day
    to pay my fees

    darkness surrounding
    empty void
    cold as ice
    silence once more

    im wait
    im seeking
    im here
    destroying what was once left

    here i am at your shrine




    Submitted on 2006-10-02 13:48:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmm, interesting. first there are typos, which in this case can diminish the signifigance and meaning. and thouhg you give a fair essence to how it feels, you neglect to explain the statue, and how you feel. great beginning though.
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, interesting. first there are typos, which in this case can diminish the signifigance and meaning. and thouhg you give a fair essence to how it feels, you neglect to explain the statue, and how you feel. great beginning though.
    | Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm.. to start with.. there are a few typos, so u need to edit this desperately.. cos they're taking away alot from the impact of this piece.
    i like the way u talk of this place as a shrine to urself and this other person.
    but .. i'm not the biggest fan of 'empty void'. somehow it doesnt sound right.
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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