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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Old Waysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Von Django
    ASL Info:    32/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 119/148/32
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 980
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 344



    Description:
       First post in a long, long time....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Old Waysdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Turn a blind eye to the stars and the sky
    Brushing shadows with sinners and saviours
    Digging Jesus from his grave
    And between crumpled smokes
    He preached of the old ways
    Walking through the cities
    Where his children of war
    Beat their chests
    With bloodshot eyes
    Howling at the sun




    Submitted on 2006-10-02 16:41:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      heh...a decent read yes. i just wish that this one wasn't so abrupt. its been a while since i've commented on anyone's poetry here at ES.

    and i'm surprised at how long you and i have been here and never run across one another *shrugs*.

    an epic tale yes, wish it were a bit longer, because you draw us into so quickly, yet make a hasty exit, and leave me wondering what in the world had just happened .

    this is also one of my shortest comments ina while. *sighs*.

    when i come back to check a couple of your other works, i shall leave editorials then .

    til next we meet.
    Blessed Be
    Loquacious Mind
    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem. What I loved the most (and I noticed that in not just in this poem but in some other your pieces) is the fact that you don’t take words for granted, you don’t waste them. In this case, for such a short poem you managed to create powerful images and emotions.
    I like the detail “howling at the sun”, ‘cause in “howling at the moon” is something ordinary, but to howl at the sun is almost sacrilegious, so it fits in the context perfectly.
    Just one thing really confused me, why putting it in to the “friendship” category. I don’t know, it seems strange, or maybe I’m missing the point.
    Well, maybe I am missing the point but I still like it and I think it is very powerful piece, so this is a favorite.
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa this one was cool too. You used the same uncanny rhyme scheme that wasn't quite rhyme but used words that sounded similar just at the right time. The theme of this poem and the way you constructed it was brilliant. Really unerving and scolding the old ways by using things that people take personally like religion and war. I like the last line, instead of the moon, you used the sun, and took a shot at how the old ways make no sense. In a way, I think you were trying to some degree to not make sense in this poem. I enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by ICONOCLAST | [ Reply to This ]


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