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    dots Submission Name: Inside My Minddots

    Author: Poetic Ways
    Elite Ratio:    1.31 - 9/24/26
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1156


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    dotsInside My Minddots

    poisoned mind aching with these suicidal tendencies
    the knife lurks in the dark shadow whispering remember me
    you try to forget it you set it off to the side
    but you remember how it helped all those nights that you cried
    i hope the end is near because im not willing to go far
    reach for your dreams yes but you'll never reach a star
    everyone's here to hurt you make you feel bad about your self
    yes its true even the ones who are always saying im here to help
    dont listen you gotta be an independant individual
    the depressed tell you dont be depressed how hypocritical
    emotionally angry life is the only thing i fear
    red drips on my face cause i bleed when i tear
    dont bother to help me it involves deadly work
    if your living pain free ill be your reason to hurt
    dont get close you'll never be able to fade away
    ill be trapped inside your mind this pain is here to stay
    avoid the scar and fade before it gets too late
    begin with love but always ending in hate
    i didnt choose this state of mind this choice was fate!

    Submitted on 2006-10-02 21:09:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I appreciate your honesty. Poetically it seems more like a manifesto than something of poetic value. Seems your explaining yourself. Could you use more creative imagery to do it? What you are saying is very powerful but I feel it could be unforgettable if you would employ a more creative tone. saying I bleed when I tear is very straight and to the point but is there a more unfogetable way to say that? I think you're on the right track. Thanks for listening.
    | Posted on 2006-10-02 00:00:00 | by chelseagirl077 | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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