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Submission Name:
what should i do
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
stateXofXmind
ASL Info:
18/F
Elite Ratio:
2.09 - 29/49/21
Words:
98
Class/Type:
Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:
123
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
508
Description:
this is just yeah something I feel
what should i do
-------------------------------------------
What should I do when what he says hurts me so bad that I want to hurt my self
What should I do when I cant help but cry
What should I do I ask
What should I do when I break down and want to die
because when I look at him hes oblivious to me and the world...
Should I die
Should I cry
What should I do i ask him
What should I do?
I kno he loves me
I kno he does
So what should I do?
Submitted on 2006-10-02 21:15:19
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||| Comments |||
This piece was unique.
You stuck to your theme well.
You only have two rhyming lines though, and I think that kinda of throws off the flow. If you were to maybe add more rhymes or just not rhyme at all, it would be better I think.
Overall, I liked it. Keep it up.
| Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by
Emo_Doll
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