Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cost of My Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1074
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCost of My Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre beloved to the world,
    Toes upon the ground paper flowers curled.
    Illuminating from corrupted society,
    Altar model my living piety.
    Your from an advanced genus,
    Take my mind offering me your Venus.
    We know each otherís flesh,
    Still your heartís armor remains intermeshed.
    My hearts obsessed,
    I am all alone while you transgress.
    I run toward your lost paradise,
    My soul an overpriced sacrifice.




    Submitted on 2004-01-27 22:41:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lot of emotion, tough when you give all and the other doesn't
    | Posted on 2004-01-28 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, but I think in line 5 shouldn't it be "you're" (a contraction of you are")? Your is possessive.
    | Posted on 2004-01-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1204

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry