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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Being A Good Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kiddo13
    ASL Info:    28/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 70/61/22
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       This was written for my son a couple of years ago. He's a good kid with some serious emotional problems and he gets so angry... but I know his heart, and with the right guidance he will someday be a good man.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeing A Good Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    He rolls his eyes first
    like this is his wind-up
    for the daggers he will throw my way
    Then he unleashes those
    devestating hazel eyes
    in fury
    upon me
    Ironically when the daggers bounce off
    like nothing more than rubber bands
    he gets furious
    and utters words
    that inevitably cause his demise
    But on the occassion the dagger penetrates
    and he knows he has affected my heart
    he realizes that wasn't what he wanted to accomplish at all
    And I watch those eyes
    pool with tears
    that say
    "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean it"
    Then I know
    that even at seven
    he is on his way to
    being a good man




    Submitted on 2006-10-03 11:10:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I know exactly what you mean in this poem. I have done this to my mom more than a few times and I regret it every time. I've only actually gotten to her a couple but those times hurt me more than I could have ever imagined. When you know you've hurt this person who gave you life and raised you to be the person that you are it cuts deep on both sides of the fence. This "monster" that did that to her is what she created and i cant help but think how did i become that way. Even if it is for a second, how could i do that to her. I love this piece and you're right he is on his way to being a good man. I'm still not sure if i'll ever truely be a good man but i know for certain i will be a better man than my father.

    @};-
    Chon
    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by xPoetxBoyx | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure what to say here mostly because I'm no where near being a parant or even having the smallest idea about what it would be like. But it is certainly an experience that one day hopefully would happen.

    Anger problems, eh? A lot more common that you'd like to think. Nearly every young child has some sort of problem, be it mild or serious. They don't understand yet that everyone is a person and deserves to be treated as such but from your poem at the end, you say that he apologised for hurting you. That shows that he's growing up and as you put it, 'on his way to being a good man.'

    The imagery is very small but very good, I especially like your descriptions of your son. Best of luck to you and have a nice day!

    ~AshNight~
    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by AshNight | [ Reply to This ]
      The trials and tribulations of parenthood. I've got a three year old, she's not too bad yet (I emphasize the yet) but she has a wee mean streak in there already(she must get it from her mother:), but I think they all do.

    As the poem stands I personaly prefer a bit more order, there's no rhythm here that I can get my teeth into.
    It's something a parent can relate to however, I know that feeling when a child tells you they don't like you or words to that effect even though they don't mean it or aren't fully aware of what the words really mean it can still hurt a little, that you've managed to stir those feelings within your own child, and that is where the strength of this poem lies.

    Thanks
    TTFN
    V

    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]


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