Every dream I have ever wished for
Is trapped in the frozen blood
Stored inside your lifeless body
So many dreams we had for the future
Together forever we always said
A beautiful house
Beautiful children running free
Waiting for us their parents
To teach them all the knowledge
They will ever need in life
That bitter August day
Two weeks after our marraige
A day I never will forget
A day when another man
Decided to make alcohol his God of choice
Killing our dreams and leaving me
Once again just like I was as a child
Lonely and desperate for love
My heart
Will never again be at peace on this Earth
But I know
Every day the sun shines
That you are in Heaven
Waiting patiently for the day
Our hearts can finally come together as one
And at that time we will finally have found
True Happiness
This is a beautiful piece of writing. I love how it gives you a hint of what happened to the loved one and yet you still have hope. There is emotion put into this piece and it comes in subtel hints. It's not all gushing out. My favorite part would be the first three lines. I believe they are the most powerful, along with "...alcohol as his God of choice..." Looking over previous writings of your, I wasn't so sure you could pull off such a drepressing poem, because you're usually happy and joyful, but I can honestly say you are a great writer. Keep it up please.
Wow. This poem was so full of emotion. Just thinking about this pain that you hold/held inside you made me want to cry. Cry for you. Though I know that it wouldn't make it go away, still. I am sorry that you have had such sadness in your life, I hope that it is a little, if not more, better.
Waiting for us their parents
I think that this line should be seperated, though. Maybe
I have read several of your pieces before deciding to comment on this one. You seem to have a knack about letting all your writes seem like a letter you send to friends. They all make it seem that I'm there beside you listening to you talk. You have a natural talent. KEEP IT UP! Let faith be your standard bearer and God give you a handshake often.
I can relate to this very well. My father was an alcoholic, and he killed himself driving his motorcycle drunk. I'm still mad at him, and it's been 7 years. How foolish and selfish, and he with three children.. I also miss him. I often think of the way my life would be were he still here. Here to hold my daughter, to light rooms with his smile and to fill worlds with his deep laugh.
I found it hard to pick one of your pieces to comment on, you have so many already. What can I possibly say? So I figured I would just share my feelings, and thank you for your kind words.
I hate drunk drivers. They all just need to be taken out back and shot. It's a very good peom and it reminded me of so many things. I'm not married and don't think I will be anytime soon, but I had a friend that I cared for very deeply be taken from me by the same acts. I believe that one day we will meet in heaven. That helps to make it a little less hard. Very good job.
God Bless.
I've never cried for reading something before. I think it's because I know what it's like. Not to lose a spouse, but to lose a mother. It's so sad...Bittersweet. You truly believe she's in a better state, a better place. I wish I had the faith you do. This poem, well i wouldn't say it's a poem, it's more of a piece of you now. A way of never fogetting what she really meant. While it was sad, there was a strength to it which was unfathomable. Like trying to count stars. To persevere through a pain like that, and keep on moving because it's just something you have to do. This is something that can't be critiqued. Because it's something that is so close, and raw.
I can't express in words how this really made me feel. I enjoyed it, and hated it at the same time, if that makes any sense whatsoever
Of all your poems, I clicked on this one tonight. My heart goes out to you. Drunk driving is never acceptable as no one needs to tell you. Your message is one that should be read by everyone getting a driver's license. Take care, Sharon
Ron, out of all the pieces that I have read on this site, this truely made my heart sink...I wish that I could have that stability of faith that you have inside of your poem, well knowing that your loved one is inside of this "heaven" we as longing humans will at one day be with them together forever, inside of once again this "heaven". That is just a mere faith that I had awhile back, that well I have fell blind too. I felt the pain inside of you when I read this, and thank god you have so many fans to cope with you at your time of pain...I wish I too had that...But this comment isn't about I, it is about you. Two weeks after a marrage, and a drunk driver took this away from you...It sucks when you wake up in the morning and that one person that is so close to us, can just dissapear like that in *snap* like that in an instant...But it instead of making us fear of that day by day as time passes, it makes us enabled to seize, to hold, to embrace, and to cherish the moments these people that we love and hold close to us ever day as if it were their last...Because their is no expectations for death, it just happens...And it hurts so badly...I don't envy, but I honor how well you have created this poem...Not one splinter of hate nor rage towards the person that has taken away the loved one...Not one bit of sorrow, except for the lament of the one you once had...But not that self inflicted sorrow such as the poetry I portrait...And that Ron, is a true Christian...A Christian that I admire, and may one day allow me to find that faith again...And I admire you for that...This will be going to my favorites...
everyone else has said what i would say about this masterpeice.if only people would think about the consaqences before they drink and drive. vvary heartfelt read. thank you for shareing it.
God bless you Ron- This one hurt to read. I feel your anguish....I'm so sorry that this happened to your love- To you. I loved this poem and hated your experience for you...My poem "Over and Over" is to my brother .Guy Jr. died August 16th 2004 at the age of 21. He had left my house at 9 P.M. and died at midnight....He hit his head when he fell off a motorized scooter. This brought back the anguish- the lack of understanding and the torment of what death does to us that are left...
Jesus...my heart was truly broken reading this,its is so sad even with the slight glimmer of hope at the end.I hope very much its not insulting for me to say I'm not sure if this is fictional or a personal poem,because i really don't know,perhaps its best that way.When you describe the other man as making god his drug of choice it sent a shiver down my spine,I drink a lot and whilst i would generally describe myself as harmless when drunk,I still didn't like how it made me question myself for a moment.This is a very powerful piece of poetry...
this is an amazing poem, and again you show me how much of an amazing writer you are. this is brillantly worded and touches all people on all levels. do u write professionly? if u don't then u should
i almost started crying as i read this...
what a great way to channel your emotions, writing is an awesome outlet. i like the way you wrote your first and fourth stanzas, the phrase and word choices are unique. this piece is truly moving, it was a beauty.
This was an incredible piece of art. such well put descriptions of your feelings. It made the hairs on my neck stand up and made me cry as soon as I started reading about how your heart would never be at peace again on this earth, I know the feeling as well and you said it better. Hey good job I wouldn't dare suggest anything be different with this. This is no Hallmark piece its very unique and true to how you feel. And not being Hallmark in my mind is a great thing!
Lovely, lovely, truly lovely. Especially how the first line caught me...stored in your lifeless body, I find I liked that line. I'm very sorry I missed this, beautiful poem indeed. I pray that you keep up the good work!
ron this is a beautiful poem. it makes you stop and everything else just kind of gets tuned out as you read...the wording was great, the emotions were raw and true and deep, and i enjoyed it thoroughly. if this is a past experience of your then i am sorry, i am too young to have been through something like that but im glad for you, that you have faith. its something that not everyone can find. also i will take this opportunity to say that i truly appreciate your kindness to me and all of the other writers on this site...almost every single author whose poems i have looked at has had an honest, heartfelt comment or critique from you on one of their poems. i want to thank you for that. i have seen writers on this site who are generous, but it seems none so much as you. thank you for your writes and for your thoughts on ours.
This is so sad, but such a fine story of love and longing! It reminds me of one of my poems whose title is "Forever Young"! All of your poems and verse are masterpieces, Ron!
ooouch I have never lost a spouce in a blink of an eye quite like that. But I have lost 2, due 2 Adultery. I know what its like 2 "talk about the future". 2 smile with one another in eachothers arms. And have it taken from you.............
Ok good work, ..............I dont know...........What else could I say? I liked it! Joshua
Wow...this was very sad. Yes acoholism can tear up a family and destroy what joy there was in life for the drinker and those around him or her. I'm just glad you have become sober and know that acohol is not your friend. Deep, personal, and well written.
Hi Ron, I really like this, it gives me that uneasy feeling I get whenever I think of something unexpected like this might happen to my family. It is so scary to think how delacate life is and how easy it is to take for granted all of the great things we have been blessed with. As for the comments on "shaved apes" first of all thank you very much for the positive comments, In reference to religion I guess you could say that I am bi-sexual (not literally) I believe that we should all believe in something bigger than ourselves, but when it comes down to people with faces who are everywhere, that is where my probem starts, I am a believer, I just haven't put my finger on what yet. Thanks again and I really like your writings, I will come back and comment on more, Will (Twice)
very beautifully written Ron so sad though your talent is amazing and I eenjoy your work alot sorry I haven't been around much been sick but back now and trying to catch up on new postings this one is great I enjoyed alot. It touched my heart as always.
good lord.....nothing short of amazing....this really hit me hard, past experiences and what not, i realyl like this. it started out depressing and then went on to tell of how he will be re-united in death, good, really good
this poem is extreme.i love how i completly got the full emotion of it.but it is sad and very deep..i just wish i could say something that equals the amount of thought but heh i guess im just speechless. and since i think you already know,i wont bother to say that you are a wonderful writer ^__^. but still,its a great poem from a great writer..keep 'em coming!
this poem is extreme.i love how i completly got the full emotion of it.but it is sad and very deep..i just wish i could say something that equals the amount of thought but heh i guess im just speechless. and since i think you already know,i wont bother to say that you are a wonderful writer ^__^. but still,its a great poem from a great writer..keep 'em coming!
this poem is extreme.i love how i completly got the full emotion of it.but it is sad and very deep..i just wish i could say something that equals the amount of thought but heh i guess im just speechless. and since i think you already know,i wont bother to say that you are a wonderful writer ^__^. but still,its a great poem from a great writer..keep 'em coming!
wow, this poem really hit me hard. I can relate completely, my best friend died a little over a year ago after being hit by a drunk driver. This is a very good write...I'm definitely going to add this to my favorites...Thanks
Oh my. That is terrible. I almost feel bad for enjoying this. Is it autobiographical? Every word is so powerful. I'm half speechless. In all honesty, this is one of the best things I've ever read. It shows that you put your whole heart into it. I love it, and I can give you nothing but compliments.
Wow this was a very powerful poem I loved the way you said that they made drinking their "GOD OF CHOICE" that phrase made a big impact on the was you saind it. if you had just said that they made drinking their god you could have made ur point but since you put the common phrase "drink of choice" into something like that it made a big difference( I always hold fast to the fact that little things make a bigdifference in poetry) Good job RON
well ron.. a grewat write of a great poet... what else should I say?? it is very sad and it was right to what i feel nowadays.. well man i really want to talk to anyone and i gues you are the one i should talk to... and in this work was not as your usual writes.. i mean you have many happy writes... but this was as i used to write, my style hehe... well talk to you later.. adn peace and love and hvae a nice day Ron thanks for sharing and try to look for my writes ... Victor
Awww. That was sad. It reminds me of something that Mother against drunk driving would use as an ad, and don't take that the wrong way. I thought it was sweet and very sad. Good job, and i think its kind of the opposite of the lsat one i read. hmm...nice one. ~CAotic~
oh, this is so sad. to have a love like that, then have taken away when you're just starting a new life together. this is a good topic to cover like this, gets the message across. although, i think very few ever listen. it is such a shame. it's always the children i feel for, left without parents or siblings. anyway, you have written this in such a way that brings a tear to the eye. very touching. kinda romantic too, at the end where you say
'Our hearts can finally come together as one And at that time we will finally have found True Happiness'
lovely poem, very sad, but lovely nonetheless. whirl**
Submission Name: Shattered Dreams
I almost feel bad for enjoying this. Is it autobiographical?