[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Passingdots

    Author: wildriver
    ASL Info:    18/Female/kearney, NE
    Elite Ratio:    1.84 - 13/12/12
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 480

       this one can be taken so many different ways...what do you think?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I watch silently
    as dust falls through the cracks;
    words defy me to describe
    why it acts like that.

    Waltzing, twirling,
    glittering, falling;
    all this time,
    I stand here stalling.

    Pass me by,
    my heart is slowing;
    seasonal creations
    to the ground are flowing.

    Once again in my head
    the old song is playing;
    to sleep I must go,
    for my Father is waiting.

    Submitted on 2006-10-03 14:07:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i think of Christmas.
    the 'Waltzing, twirling,
    glittering, falling;'
    is snow. the old song could be Jingle bells. and having to go to sleep, for father is waiting, would be father Christmas, waiting to deliver goodies to the kids.
    at least, that's what i get from this, i think the line 'seasonal creations' is a big factor!
    i like this, love the way you skip around actually naming a topic or subject, so i suppose many ppl would get different things from this. thats very clever.
    i don't know if 'pretty' is a word we can use to describe a poem, but i'm gonna, coz that's what i think this is....pretty.
    nice work,
    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]