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    dots Submission Name: Advicedots

    Author: Lisa Milligan
    ASL Info:    48/F/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 38/47/21
    Words: 321
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1848


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    I was told long ago not to be a friend to my son
    Be a parent, no way to be both
    For this would undermine my authority
    And that worried me, a new parent
    These were my father’s words of advice

    When my son was a toddler
    I was told that to be friends with my son
    Would cause us to become too close
    “You will have no life when he leaves you.”
    This scared me, with years of mothering ahead of me
    These were my mother’s words of wisdom

    My son continued to grow up, as children do
    I was told not to be his buddy
    It would cause me to be a pushover
    Not a parent, and easily taken advantage of
    He wouldn’t respect me
    This concerned me, he grows so fast
    These were my childless brother’s sage words of advice

    When my son was a teenager
    An older lady at work told me it was wrong to be my son’s friend
    Very proudly she proclaimed that she told her son
    Who is an adult now, fully grown
    “I may not be your friend, but I will always be your mother.”
    This bothered me, I’m running out of teaching time
    These were wise words from a mother with a lifetime’s worth of experience

    He’s leaving me soon
    I will be left all alone to carve out a new life
    Missing the only man who ever respected me
    Who says I’m an amazing mother
    I tell him he’s my best friend
    He looks down at me amused
    And holds my face in his hands for a moment
    “OK Mom, who have you been listening to today?”
    I just laugh, because he knows me so well
    “You’re my best friend too, always have been”
    Years of advice and worry echo through my mind
    And I come to a startling realization
    All of them were wrong

    Submitted on 2006-10-03 15:22:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a wonderful write. Personal and heartfelt, it is very well written and expressed. People will always try to give you their advice as they believe they know best but we each have to listen to our own hearts and minds and figure out what is best for us. You certainly did just that, a wise decision, and now you have a priceless relationship with your son. Me and my mom are that close too. She always treated me like a friend and we just grew closer and closer. Many parents try to teach their children too much and force their beliefs onto them, thinking it is best. But as children grow up, they develop their own beliefs and desires and really just need encouragement and understanding to explore their own lives. I enjoyed reading this poem. Very well done.

    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Lisa, it looks as if you figured it out all on your own. Our children need us to be their friends. Sounds as if you did a marvelous job with your son. Bravo for not listening to wrong advice and being one smart, "Mom"!!!
    Very good and a write I enjoyed reading...

    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes they were wrong Lisa. A mother's love for her children is probably the purest love of all. And mum's are always their son's best friends - I know, through first hand experience.

    This was a lovely write - well done.

    | Posted on 2006-10-03 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

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