Your suggested comments are unspecified, so I hope you don't mind if I say what's on my mind and then make a few suggustions.
I agree with the others, the idea is very good, but the structure and wording needs some revision. This is one of those ideas that comes out in poems quite a bit and in order for yours to overcome the rest it needs to be fantastic, currently, I believe it is in the beginning stages of that. With some revision it can rise above the test... just give it another look over.
Also "I love you" is highly over-used, perhaps start by changing it to "Im here and you are there/my love is true, you don't care/maybe that's the way life is/crisis after crisis" Just an idea. You want to avoid the usage of words such as 'I guess' and repetittion of a word more than twice in a row.
A picture of one dying while they await one last reach out from a loved one, which they feel will not come. Hopeless, desolate and alone is what the reader sees in this write. A little revising will make a good poem for you have painted the picture well.
Rhyme scheme seems rather amateur. Also, is it really that hard to type out the word 'you?' You're putting your poetry on this site for people to critique and enjoy it, the least you could do is type out words rather than use chat speak.