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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Butterfly Under Glassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Briannan
    ASL Info:    20/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 123/127/49
    Words: 38
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 319



    Description:
       A poem of entrapment. The first real shot of inspiration I've had in awhile. Thinking of flight that I can never have...because of commitments forced on me by those who love me but never ask.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsButterfly Under Glassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thin gossamer wings
    Beat against translucent force fields
    Patterns ruined
    Ripped and tattered
    Desperation
    Never to fly again
    On Broken delicate wings
    Tears of sorrow
    For the loss
    Never to be regained
    Desolation
    Of the poor destroyed Creature.




    Submitted on 2006-10-04 13:23:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This, though short, is a wildly powerful poem. It seems that almost everyone, or anyone, at least to a greater or lesser extent can easily understand this poem and have empathy with it--marvelously concieved and and very well done... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is not my best day to be commenting (since everything seems so pointless) but I'll give it a try annyways.
    this poem contains such sadness, and yet there is someone who imprisoned this wonderful creature. there seems to be, between the lines, some great cruelty and or ignorance.
    the poem, to me, is about the shattering of beauty yet described in a way you don't always see.
    I like it, I love wonderful words and beauty. and I can't seem to figure out why sadness and pain alway gets my focus.
    //The Littel Good Wolf
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Briannan

    A very expressive (painfully short) piece of work.

    What does it tell me and how does it speak to me?

    It tells me that an individual has had many dreams to succeed in some particular area only to be thwarted by authority.
    " Thin gossamer wings
    Beat against transluscent force feilds" (I would edit the spelling of fields)

    It says to me that this individual has given up on that hope of success and that this is a dream that can never be realised.

    "Tears of sorrow
    For the loss
    Never to be regained"

    I would have loved it if you had continued along in this vein with even more descriptive prose about what potentially might have been possible in the future for this individual.

    "The winsome wings they flew but briefly
    Tempting and hopeful of heights regretably never reached" etc

    Thats just me playing with your theme. Take no notice, I like what you wrote I just would have loved to see and read more of it in this particular piece.

    'On On'

    Ocker
    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by Ocker7290 | [ Reply to This ]


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