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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alone With Mere Creationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kiddo13
    ASL Info:    28/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 70/61/22
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 698
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 671



    Description:
       Where do you find peace?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlone With Mere Creationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I bask in the moon on the sand I am calm
    More at ease than I 've been before,
    like a balm
    to my soul
    The soft light on the water
    to refresh my thirsty spirit
    The life is breathed back into me
    with the gentle breeze... can you hear it?
    And to me this place is vital
    as the insects give recital
    in the woods that do surround me in the night
    Regenerate
    Rejuvenate
    Revive my very essence
    For tomorrow will renew my dreadful plight
    So it is now I brace myself
    on a creek bank in the sand
    With elements of mere creation
    my solace in this land




    Submitted on 2006-10-04 13:49:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I hate cities and the general lack of trees everywhere because I grew up in a place where there are lots of trees. My dad is Tarzan and my mum is Jane, I think. But you want to know what I think? I think dad's just lying and I'm actually the outcome of that fling he had with Cheetah's sister.

    Umm...
    Ahem.

    So it's a scene on a lake in a forest place. Weren't there leeches?

    ... Joking.

    Yours truly,
    N'body.
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm a counrty guy to, but the city keeps getting bigger were not too far off from getting a crispy creme now. My place where I've found peace for nearly five years has been banned from the public and made private property. Cops patrol the area and look for cars of unwanted wanders. I want to walk out there sometime when my friend comes back if it's before winter.

    Anyway about your piece sorry for the tangent it sort of through me into the dreamy reverie that my place used to. As with the other write I read of yours the rhyme is there though one time in particular it feels forced that is in these two lines

    like a balm
    to my soul

    It's not so much what you said sure balm rymhe with calm and balms ease tension when despensed on skin and rubbed in but the simile just is beneath this piece it weakens it. That's my opinion. So let me just reinterate that simply changing the way you say it will create a more perfect feel. peace
    | Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]


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    120545

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    January 10 07
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