And I search my soul for
The words that will make
Their eyes water and
Their hearts melt
I try to make these suits and ties
Feel the pain
That I have felt
To make them believe that they, too
Have cried out to God for help-
And not found the answers
And they will read and analyze
They will critique my anguish
And the depth
Will go unheard
For they merely want a good show
My true pain they will never know
Who gives a flying shhit when people shoot you down. Don't bother with them. The key is to make yourself a success and happy, and that alone will eliminate the petty little "pokers" in your world. There will always be some yahoo would wants to take a stab at you, especially when they are insecure themselves. Pain inflicts pain.So when you are flyin high with all the little pointing fingers below you, what can they do at that point but...well, point? I apologize for my rambling of a comment but to summerize...I enjoyed your write and it's point.
And I search my soul for The words that will make Their eyes water and Their hearts melt I try to make these suits and ties Feel the pain That I have felt To make them believe that they, too Have cried out to God for help- And not found the answers
And they will read and analyze My words They will critique my anguish And the depth Will go unheard For they merely want a good show My true pain they will never know
And what pain might that be? The pain of sharing emotion through the vehicle of writing or the pain of having both yourself and your work critiqued and given a value designation by those who don't know you personally? It may seem unfair, but life is full f value judgements made with little regard to the 'niceness' of an individual. If you're using a poetry contest as a metaphor for this type of behavior, you've stumbled on the obvious. The world can often be an unfriendly, competitive war zone replete with fake smiles and firm handshakes leading you nowhere. The last two lines of this post border a bit on the angsty/whiny 'poor, poor pitiful me' doldrums. The rest of the post is actually fairly well written. BTW, when you abandon rhyme or loosen your rhyme scheme, your work is much more universal and appealing to the reader. It's that aspect of this write that sets it apart from your other posts.
hmm......First impressions I believe i first thought it was a poem and upon a further analysis i was right. it's true i'll bash you but playfully with pillows and an occasionly a zipper hits. the rhyming here is inconsistant but it works well and speaks volumes of you potential. They suits and ties i don't really ever wear suits and ties except at weddings or funerals. I know you were pin pointing on a asthetic. People dressed up so well that they can't relate. Though our expiences are all different so many of ours are similar so in general someone in a group of this many readers will be able to relate. Anyway, I like this until the last to lines; I think they could use some revision the second to the last just sounds a bit akward and the last line just feels drawn out. I believe I've read everything from you now so Hopefully you'll keep writing. peace
mAN this is a really true poem about how us poets really feel on the inside when we are trying to please those who critique us but they will never know how we really feel or how we really felt when we wrote those poems we are trying to pass on to them . this was a great work with a very good meaning and message
Ah, the trials and tribulations of tormented teenagers... or err... adults.
I'm sure everyone feels this at one point or another -- that no one understands. I think, though, that everybody understands that nobody understands. That is to say, everyone knows that no one will ever know. This is why we don't expect them to.