Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Am Done With Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: disturbedx1000
    ASL Info:    28/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 204/326/124
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Venting
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1023



    Description:
       after a long walk in the rain and recent events, i came up with yet another song i love. well i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Am Done With Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    take me tonight...
    bring upon my soul and trebble,
    for fear there is no saving me,

    sacrafice thy self...
    no more excuses you want me to believe,
    i am done with you...

    I AM DONE WITH YOU!!!

    done with every-thing,
    it's gona have to-change,
    everyone is the-same,
    i can't seem to es-cape,

    i am done with you...
    i am done with you...
    I AM DONE WITH YOU!!!

    please just get a-way,
    i'm sick of every-thing,
    i can't take it no-more,
    i am done with-you,

    GO! (echo X3 fading)
    LEAVE! (echo X3 fading)
    ME! (echo X3 fading)
    BE! (hold out)

    please just get a-way,
    i'm sick of every-thing,
    i can't take it no-more,
    i am done with-you,

    i am done with you...
    are you done with me...
    i am done with you...

    I AM DONE... WITH YOU!!!




    Submitted on 2006-10-04 17:48:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it in the shortness of it but i also think that there should be more of a verse because they all kinda sound like chorus'. It's good and i like it i also agree with Briannan it would be better to hear it and then pass judgement on it
    thanx,
    ~ Ms. Understood
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by Rehian | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. it seems like it would be a fast paced song with a great guitar riff. as always I wish I could hear it.
    Briannan
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by Briannan | [ Reply to This ]
      i like ittttt
    | Posted on 2006-10-04 00:00:00 | by BrOkEn4gOoD | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    120576

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry