Death crawls, defeated once more.
No longer does Darkness knock on my door.
Free at last, I celebrate.
My shoulders have lost a heavy weight.
A smile lights up my face.
My steps are filled with a dancing grace.
Heart flies free, joy filsl my soul.
Light has filled the gaping hole.
This is a good write where I can tell even if it was just for a moment you felt free of the negativity that always seems to invade our life I truly believe every negative has a positive We just have to find it But once we do find it that positive energy leads us to happiness I really liked this This is exactly how I felt and continue to feel almost 2 years after I had invited The Lord into my Heart Great Job God Bless Ron Please if you get a chance I just posted 2 new writes can you Please let me know what you think of them Thank You Ron
Sometimes those brief glimpses of happiness is what keeps you going through the hard times. I hope you actually experience this more often than you know and are able to write about it. Its sad that so many teens see so little joy.
Although this si not a bad write it would stand some improvement. The bouncy rythm combined with a lack of strong metaphor or unusal language techniques pegs this as a developing writer. Keep writing and developing your own style.