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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cycle of the Morning Loverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Briannan
    ASL Info:    20/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 123/127/49
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 947



    Description:
       An ode to the morning. The way it wakes each of us in it's own gentle way. She is the lover you will never wake with out. The one who will be there every time you open your eyes in her realm....no matter what you do...the sun will always rise...and the morning will always make love to your sleeping self waking you gently.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCycle of the Morning Loverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Light
    Filters through the window
    Like sweet golden honey
    It kisses flesh
    Like a lover
    And wakes you
    With it's warm sweet breath

    The Sun
    Soon Seduces
    The gentle morning lover
    Turning her
    To the harsh hag of the afternoon
    The sensual warm breath
    Becoming arid and hot

    The death
    Of the sun
    Leads to the cold
    Temptress of the night
    Stealing the warmth from skin
    As you sleep with her
    Without a choice

    The moon sets
    The sky lightens
    And the gentle lover
    That is morning
    Returns to you once again
    To claim you
    As her own

    Her warmth
    Waking you
    Warming your flesh
    More than a human heat
    Ever could
    Seducing you to the waking world
    So you love her
    As well as she loves you




    Submitted on 2006-10-05 14:38:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It is weird, but upon first reading this, it gave me a new feeling toward morning, a sense that morning was out to get you, laugh at that as you may, but morning became a person to me, inspiring thoughts of a sickening unwelcoming, a sense that morning was tauntingly laughing as it wakens you with its piercing ray tentacles, causing you to become absorbed in it. Maybe because I never thought of it as a welcoming greeting card before. Anyway, I loved this piece instantly because of the imagery, the personification. Then, I also liked the description of each phase of 'day' and the feeling behind each one, a pattern of moods. Well, the second time reading it, it seems like the phases are talking to the person. Morning is telling her with unspoken words that she needs to have energy and that the time for rebuilding is over. Time to face the day and its trials. Time to see what you can do with the time the sun has given to you. And night is saying, I'll shut your eyes for you, so you no longer have to think and feel life.
    Yes, I liked it. Thank you for your inspiration.
    -nidawi
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by nidawi | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this!
    "The gentle morning lover" that phrase speaks to me with such intensity. I'm a hopeless romantic and lover of... well beauty. how often have I not felt what you describe so vivid in this poem.
    there are two miss spellings (well one unsure but...) the first is temptess, I think it should be spelled temptress but I'm not sure.
    the other is claim, in the second to last row in the second to last stanza. otherwise this poem is a pleasure to read, mostly because you've appealed to a side of me that isn't verry often reached by others. thank you!
    // The Little Good Wolf
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this is amazing! well thought out and cleverly plot out. this is by far one of, if not, my favorites by you. i have nothing to say on critisism. this is as close to perfect as i can think of. great job i hope to see more like this from you!

    brandon
    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]
      Personally, this poem is very different from alot of things I read, I have seen writer after writer to try to pull off a poem of collected thaughts with no real schemes in particular, but I feel that you have managed to pull this off, it was a very enjoyable read for me and it really seemed to hit home, this style is realy hard to pull off, but you did it was very well done keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by bosse22 | [ Reply to This ]
      The radiance behind this poem is the fact that it is light and reflects nature as it is. You've taken something beautiful and made it more beautiful in words. I must congradulate you for that.

    your title was an excellent choice; it shows uniqueness and style. I didn't really get your structure though because it started at six stanzas and then settled for seven, still if i didn't count, i guess i never would had guessed.

    I didn't really like the way you've begun your piece. The first stanza didn't work for me at all. I thought that it was a very weak beginning especially those lines:

    Like sweet golden honey
    Like a lover
    And wakes you with it's warm sweet breath

    To me, i felt that better words can be found for light.

    Other than that, after the first stanza, you've gradually picked it up and made it more and more interesting. I really did enjoy reading this. It was a light poem that i can easily take to heart so thanks for sharing this.

    Take care....

    ~Irina
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


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