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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: *Unwritten Destinydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       i need help with a title...help me out if you can..thanx


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots*Unwritten Destinydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The hot sensation ,
    After you bite.
    You give a little,
    And get a lot.
    That burning in your heart.
    Thats what i feel,
    When you look my way,
    And give me that adorable wink.
    That booty shake you do,
    It turns heads.
    That deep blonde hair,
    And haunting blue eyes
    It make's me wonder what she left behind?
    But your attention is on me now,
    You walk over slowly,
    To the rhythm of the music,
    As you ask me to dance.
    Here it comes,
    The moment i've been waiting for all night.
    I accept with one suspicion,
    What will happen next?




    Submitted on 2006-10-06 14:18:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      How about "Bitten"? I'd proofread this because you have commas you don't need. You also have an extra space before your comma in the first line. You need an apostrophe in "That's," and you need to capitalize "I've."

    I enjoyed this one. It's sexy.

    Peace,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      A good title would be "Tipsy Fandango".
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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