[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: cant controldots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 638
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 487

       oh well. i know it looks like i doubt it but i dont. i try not to. i'm just so afraid of being hurt again. i dont know what to do. my life is so difficult and right now he is the only thing that i feel is actually okay right now in my life. what happens if i lose that only good thing i have? what will i have except nothing??? where would i be? who would i be? i've lost myself to him and i just want to make him happy. i'm happy... at least i am when im around him... most of the time... kind of... i dont know. sometimes he says things that make me want to cry. sometimes he says things that hurt me and i dont know what to do. how do i fix this??? does this need fixing??? is this really happening??? how long until its gone? what will i do once this is gone??? i dont kow. i'm so confused.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscant controldots

    how do i know that he wont hurt me
    when everyone tells me he will
    what can i do if this fear comes true
    how will i ever be still

    how can i change this thing we call fate
    if it is already chose
    what can i do when everythings gone
    when all i have is then exposed

    these feelings of fear and wanting to last
    is something i cant control
    what will i do when all this is done
    and i am left with a hole

    Submitted on 2006-10-06 17:47:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked it...i dont really get to see things from "her" side ever so to speak
    | Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by CFHillyard | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is good, I know so many people try to interfere when a new relationship starts, and then you’re left wondering what to do. At the end I suppose the decision of what you do is up to you though, you’re the one who has to make the choice.

    "when all I have is then exposed" This line seems not to go with the poem, there seems a word too much, and it confuses the rhyme scheme a little. Try changing it to just "when all I have is exposed"

    Linzi xx
    | Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by Linzi | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow i really liked this poem .. i can so relate to it i felt the same way with an exof mine.. most of my friends said he was playing me and such but i refused to believe them and in the end he was and i left his ass but anyway u captured the feelings wonderfully keep up the wonderious work.

    ~ timely
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by Oscura | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I have a friend like you. She was in an abusive relationship when she was younger, a couple of years ago, and now it's hard for her to trust anyone enough to date them.

    I just wanted to share that so you know you're not the only one out there that gets nervous...

    Personally, if I were you, I'd trust my gut and what I personally think about this guy, and screw what everyone says. Yes their probably just looking out for your best intrests, but still, they can't know you 100%, only you can, so just relax a little and hope for the best.

    Sorry this wasn't really about your poem...

    If you need to talk, PM me:)

    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
    You always have to remember there is someone worse off than you, I know that, from this poem, you seem to be having a rough time but I know from experience that no matter how many times your trust is broken you can always find someone new to trust - faith in life that things will get better.
    All the best,
    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by steffunni | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Incubus written by monad
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]