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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Are the Reasondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GothamFreak
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 110/48/19
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 497



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Are the Reasondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are the reason I'm up every night crying

    You are the reason I feel like I am dying

    You are the reason I can't sleep at night

    You are the reason I want to hold onto my pillow tight

    You are the reason I always think of flowers

    You are the reaon that towers

    You are the reason I try to fight

    You are the reason I have no more fright

    You are the reason I live my life




    Submitted on 2006-10-06 18:02:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is okay. Very honest, which is good, but it's also kind of angsty in some parts.

    I got confused. You started out by saying that the person is the reason you cry and stuff, but then it turns into you saying good things about them.
    I guess thats nothing to be confused about though. That's how all relationships are. No one's perfect. But hey, if we were all perfect, what would we learn?



    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      hey u did one of these before. its cool like ur sorting urself out and stuff. nice job yo.
    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      No offense, but you don't have to be so redundant.


    You are the reason I'm up every night crying

    I feel like I am dying

    I can't sleep at night

    I want to hold onto my pillow tight

    I always think of flowers

    The reason that towers

    I try to fight

    I have no more fright

    I live my life


    It's just a lot less redundant that way, and I think it still has the same weight. The poem is kind of weird in that the first part of the poem, this person seems to have scarred you emotionally, but it in the second, this person is the one you love. I suppose I've known people in similar situations. I think poetry about "serious" subjects is generally better if it doesn't rhyme.

    Amy
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    120809

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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