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I am Bob

Author: mikepyro7
ASL Info:    15. Male. TX
Elite Ratio:    2.11 - 21 /41 /30
Words: 479
Class/Type: Misc /Satire
Total Views: 968
Average Vote:    3.5000
Bytes: 2545


I am Bob. I am Bob, and though yesterday my name was Harvey, and tommorow it will be Randall, for now my name is Bob.

I am Bob

I am Bob. I am Bob. My name is Bob. Although yesterday it was Harvey, and tomorrow it will be Randall, for now my name is Bob. Each day I choose a new name, it’s part of my condition. But it’s not really a condition, I consider it vacation.

Where I live the walls are white. Just white. I don’t know why. When I asked them why they’re white, they tell me they’re not white. They tell me they’re beige. Call it what you will, they’re white. But beige is soothing, they tell me. I tell them so is sex, but I don’t want to have it 24/7.

The rooms are always four walls. Always four walls. Every room is four walls, even if they’re not beige. I sometimes wonder why there aren’t three walled rooms. I think triangle rooms would be unique, but a bit dull as time goes on. And I’d color them anything other then beige.

But my name is Bob, like I said. I am Bob. Everyday my friends have to ask me what my name is. Every morning is something new. And if they aren’t around for breakfast, they have to ask me at lunch. This happens a lot here, we wonder away in the day, and we get in trouble for it. I tell them we wouldn’t wonder if we weren’t spaced out all day.

It’s the drugs, by the way, that space us out. Well, actually I’ve never spaced out, I’ve never taken the drugs. Never have. Never do. Because I’m on vacation, remember?

I wear white a lot. Scratch that, I wear beige a lot. But it’s still white. White shirts. They tare easily though. They are made so they tare, the same thing with the sheets. They make them that way, in case we try to hang ourselves. We try to hang ourselves a lot. Well, they try to hang themselves a lot, Bob doesn’t hang himself. And since the sheets and shirts tare, sometimes they have to improvise. But Bob’s never tried to hang himself.

And you know what the weird thing is? I’m not crazy. Nope, not a bit. I’m right as rain up in the old noodle-noggin. I put myself in here. I’m a volunteer. It’s my vacation.

They insist I’m not crazy. I insist I am. But I know I’m not crazy, I just insist I am. But I like it here. I like the beige. I like the tares. I like the four-corner rooms. But most of all, I like being Sam. I like being Frank. I like being James and Harvey and Randall.

And I like the name Bob. I like Bob. Because Bob doesn’t try to hang himself. And they call me Bob. They all call me Bob. I am Bob...

Submitted on 2006-10-06 19:59:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  THis was pretty good. Not my favourite. I like how it was as if he was a mental hospital, but yet he didn't think he was mentally challlenged. Awesome job as always.
| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
  Trevelyan adds the comment about being fifteen. I find the writing and the comment an indictement of today. Mind you, we - that is me and others of my age (OLD!) - made this tosspot world we live in so maybe we should be forgiving of desperate fifteens. Switch the telly off, put your computer on time switch and go out and get a life and save the planet from us.
| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this was absolutely amazing. The first paragraph slightly caught my eye and.. right now I'm falling asleep from latenes.. Anyway, this is one grand and very rare type of work I have seen.. I've never seen a piece like this in my life, but sadly, I'm only 15, what's there to expect.. Keep on writing kind sir/ma'am.
| Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by Trevelyan | [ Reply to This ]
  This was great, very unique and original. It was written well, I am definetly adding this to my favourites. Keep up the funny awesome work, and I will surely keep reading.

| Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by skullreaperX_X | [ Reply to This ]
  That was awesome. You are very entertaining to read. I wanted it to keep going! Thats always a good thing! Keep up the good work
| Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by Jolie | [ Reply to This ]

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