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Fantasy's Dream


Author: rememberplaydoh
Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 78 /103 /60
Words: 57
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1619
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 427



Description:


Here's a nice short one...


Fantasy's Dream



A dream inside a fantasy,
a second level beyond reality.
Emotion's layers take shape as beings:
frightening beasts and beautiful fairies,
merging together, dancing,
as actors in the drama of the subconscious.
The play of life scrolls across
the screen of the mind, continuing
each picture in succession.
One glorious epic
becoming the dream of a dream.




Submitted on 2006-10-07 12:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think this is sweet, one of those tiny little secret worlds you see through tiny key holes in magic doors... I must say the ending is good, I don't think the piece needs some dramatic punch ending, because it's light and airy and it leaves you smiling... there is no "moral" to fantasy, and when there is, it is too cumbersome. If I changed anything about the ending, I'd do it something like "One glorious epic becoming / the dream of another dream."

This is really a wonderful, happy piece.
| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  "A dream inside a fantasy,
a second level beyond reality."

wow doh this is a beautiful
line...

"Emotion's layers take shape as beings.
Frightening beasts and beautiful faries,"

only one spelling error here thats supose to be
"fairies" i love how you make short poems
amazing hun.

"merging together, dancing,as actors in the drama of subconscious."

the M on merging should be captialized,
for some reason i think "subconscious"
should be "Subconsciousness " i dont know
but that just sounds right it could be just me
though.

"The play of life scrolls across
the screen of the mind, continuing,
each picture in succession."

i think this is a bit crowded with
punctation. the comas around
continuing halts the peice a bit
other than that another great
line from dohlight lol.

"One glorious epic
becoming the dream of a dream."

this is another good line but
i dont think it ends this poem much
or im probley thinking again way
to much i have no idea.

ok now that im done going over it
ill tell you what i think.

all in all i love the fantasy and the
reality aspects of this poem,
i also love the metaphors you
used doh. you have a beautiful way
with words. This is a def. fav of mine
i really do admire how you write hun
its simple yet not to simple
poetic but not to dramatic.
simply beautiful hun.
thank you for allowing me to read this
work of art.

all the love
nikki

*kisses*


| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]


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