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    dots Submission Name: Fantasy's Dreamdots

    Author: rememberplaydoh
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 78/103/60
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1106
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 427

       Here's a nice short one...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFantasy's Dreamdots

    A dream inside a fantasy,
    a second level beyond reality.
    Emotion's layers take shape as beings:
    frightening beasts and beautiful fairies,
    merging together, dancing,
    as actors in the drama of the subconscious.
    The play of life scrolls across
    the screen of the mind, continuing
    each picture in succession.
    One glorious epic
    becoming the dream of a dream.

    Submitted on 2006-10-07 12:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is sweet, one of those tiny little secret worlds you see through tiny key holes in magic doors... I must say the ending is good, I don't think the piece needs some dramatic punch ending, because it's light and airy and it leaves you smiling... there is no "moral" to fantasy, and when there is, it is too cumbersome. If I changed anything about the ending, I'd do it something like "One glorious epic becoming / the dream of another dream."

    This is really a wonderful, happy piece.
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      "A dream inside a fantasy,
    a second level beyond reality."

    wow doh this is a beautiful

    "Emotion's layers take shape as beings.
    Frightening beasts and beautiful faries,"

    only one spelling error here thats supose to be
    "fairies" i love how you make short poems
    amazing hun.

    "merging together, dancing,as actors in the drama of subconscious."

    the M on merging should be captialized,
    for some reason i think "subconscious"
    should be "Subconsciousness " i dont know
    but that just sounds right it could be just me

    "The play of life scrolls across
    the screen of the mind, continuing,
    each picture in succession."

    i think this is a bit crowded with
    punctation. the comas around
    continuing halts the peice a bit
    other than that another great
    line from dohlight lol.

    "One glorious epic
    becoming the dream of a dream."

    this is another good line but
    i dont think it ends this poem much
    or im probley thinking again way
    to much i have no idea.

    ok now that im done going over it
    ill tell you what i think.

    all in all i love the fantasy and the
    reality aspects of this poem,
    i also love the metaphors you
    used doh. you have a beautiful way
    with words. This is a def. fav of mine
    i really do admire how you write hun
    its simple yet not to simple
    poetic but not to dramatic.
    simply beautiful hun.
    thank you for allowing me to read this
    work of art.

    all the love


    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]

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