Fantasy's Dream

Author: rememberplaydoh Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 78 /103 /60 Words: 57

Class/Type: Poetry /Misc Total Views: 1676 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 427

Description:

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Fantasy's Dream

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A dream inside a fantasy, a second level beyond reality. Emotion's layers take shape as beings: frightening beasts and beautiful fairies, merging together, dancing, as actors in the drama of the subconscious. The play of life scrolls across the screen of the mind, continuing each picture in succession. One glorious epic becoming the dream of a dream.

Submitted on 2006-10-07 12:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I think this is sweet, one of those tiny little secret worlds you see through tiny key holes in magic doors... I must say the ending is good, I don't think the piece needs some dramatic punch ending, because it's light and airy and it leaves you smiling... there is no "moral" to fantasy, and when there is, it is too cumbersome. If I changed anything about the ending, I'd do it something like "One glorious epic becoming / the dream of another dream." This is really a wonderful, happy piece.

| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]

"A dream inside a fantasy, a second level beyond reality." wow doh this is a beautiful line... "Emotion's layers take shape as beings. Frightening beasts and beautiful faries," only one spelling error here thats supose to be "fairies" i love how you make short poems amazing hun. "merging together, dancing,as actors in the drama of subconscious." the M on merging should be captialized, for some reason i think "subconscious" should be "Subconsciousness " i dont know but that just sounds right it could be just me though. "The play of life scrolls across the screen of the mind, continuing, each picture in succession." i think this is a bit crowded with punctation. the comas around continuing halts the peice a bit other than that another great line from dohlight lol. "One glorious epic becoming the dream of a dream." this is another good line but i dont think it ends this poem much or im probley thinking again way to much i have no idea. ok now that im done going over it ill tell you what i think. all in all i love the fantasy and the reality aspects of this poem, i also love the metaphors you used doh. you have a beautiful way with words. This is a def. fav of mine i really do admire how you write hun its simple yet not to simple poetic but not to dramatic. simply beautiful hun. thank you for allowing me to read this work of art. all the love nikki *kisses*

| Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]

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