This is a suicide note,
And as I sit here, choking down my last breath, I understand it now. Things are never how we want them to be.
4 hours ago, I took some pills...I thought it would be better this way. No more work, no more relationships, no more money, just...nothing to worry about.
I was wrong...
I want all those things. I want to worry about them. Now that it's too late, it's starting to become clear that that's what makes our lives worth living. The constant struggle. The fight against complacency. We don't live to avoid death, we live to enjoy every moment before it comes for us. I wish I knew that earlier, when I thought that it wouldn't really matter. That everything in my life sucks.
In the last 4 hours I've thought of everything I won't have to deal with anymore, and everything I will never experience again. I will never listen to music, or drive my car, or kiss or hug the one I love, or play videogames or rant about trivial crap that makes me angry. I will never see the sun set again. I will never get to pet a cute fuzzy kitten. I will never drink another cup of coffee or smoke another cigarette.
I will never again write a suicide note, so I hope I got this one right.
I love you.